Date: 2023-06-05 01:20 am (UTC)
thedevilwhorose: (you're the sounds)
From: [personal profile] thedevilwhorose
What's it matter? He's gone, maybe he'll remember that he saw... whatever in me to give me a chance, but what's the point in him, anyway. [It's what he kept asking himself. Gone was the time where he needed the kid to be by his side, untainted by outside influence. He missed that opportunity instantly.] I don't need to keep having more of these... these kids looking to me.

It doesn't matter. It's safer for him to not be here.

per usual, Lucifer fixates

Date: 2023-06-05 01:57 am (UTC)
thedevilwhorose: (as we beg to rewind)
From: [personal profile] thedevilwhorose
[It's the first time Lucifer uncoils a little bit and it's to give Istredd a look equivalent to his 'do you know how utterly insane you sound' and really, it's not Istredd's fault, it's just Lucifer's concept of reality.] People exist, born into a tapestry of Fate and Time and I can fight against the grain as much as I want but it doesn't change that every person has some noose around their neck, the ability to create a domino effect by them being pulled out. There's a point to everyone, regardless how useless and pathetic they are or the choices they'd prefer.

[Purpose and duty and still so heavily woven through him no matter how much he's shaken it off.]

Date: 2023-06-05 02:26 am (UTC)
thedevilwhorose: (watching the pieces fall now)
From: [personal profile] thedevilwhorose
[And that's the real crux of the problem. Always coming back to a selfish view on life. How and what a person is and should be to Lucifer, not the rest of the world. Jack may as well have been a cardboard cutout. Not a person on his own, not a being. An accessory, to Lucifer.

He sinks he chin down to his arms, staring out at the plants around them, sun on leaves, a breeze pushing up under vines.]
There is none. [A repetition. If he keeps saying it, it'll have to stick.] He was supposed to be a change. Someone that didn't know my story. That had to follow me. [He knows what it sounds like, okay. He knows. He's telling Istredd, anyway.] I got plenty of that here, I don't need him, already watered down by Castiel and the Winchesters. He didn't need me as a parent and I couldn't use his power so he would've just been one more problem.

Date: 2023-06-05 03:06 am (UTC)
thedevilwhorose: (and I’m sure there are things)
From: [personal profile] thedevilwhorose
[Istredd's question could have been no more than a whisper and it still would've cut right on through.

His reaction is instantaneous, glaring daggers at Istredd, a near-snarl to his voice.]
I'm not-- ['Upset' gets lost just as quick and there's a buzz of power to his skin, the hairs of his arms standing up. He jerks his gaze back away, not saying anything, but mostly managing to stuff the upsurge of energy into a box that wouldn't harm Istredd by proximity. Not that it should on a normal basis anyway, but. Well.

Always a flight risk, Lucifer.]
Shut up.

Date: 2023-06-05 03:33 am (UTC)
thedevilwhorose: (pray sinner)
From: [personal profile] thedevilwhorose
[Because he's so impossibly, agonizingly, truly upset, Istredd, that's why.

It's not about trying to pretend with Istredd. It's trying to pretend with himself.

He doesn't want to. There's no reason to, so why does he have to?! This wasn't even him screwing up. He didn't fall into Dad's playbook. This wasn't even... even like Istredd and the kids, who he nearly lost to the happenings of this worlds itself. It was just machinations of the universe still making him always wonder in the back of his mind if God was in the background pulling his strings and making Lucifer dance to his script.

This time Istredd does receive a full snarl.]
Shut up.

Date: 2023-06-05 04:12 am (UTC)
thedevilwhorose: » power (whose side I'm on?)
From: [personal profile] thedevilwhorose
[It's not the 'trust me' that does it. It's that Istredd still touches him when Lucifer very well could actually sever his hand at the wrist with his teeth. That the venom is there, the want to just simply lash out at this fool of a mage even daring to reach out to the monster under everyone's bed.

His raised hackles don't ebb but his reddened gaze meets Istredd's and there is no vocal agreement, barely even a mental agreement. But the feeling is there. Understanding and acknowledgment and acceptance.

He does not go back with Istredd though. It's... better that way on a multitude of levels. He blinks out of the garden, the sound of billowing wings, and then Istredd is alone.

But Lucifer will be in their room when Istredd arrives, pacing a hole in the floor between the beds.]

Date: 2023-06-05 04:32 am (UTC)
thedevilwhorose: (I remain blind)
From: [personal profile] thedevilwhorose
[Lucifer might always suspect that one day... one day will be too much. One day there will be a breaking point, that Istredd can't stomach what Lucifer is completely. He isn't even trying to find it anymore he's just... himself. Trust is an extremely hard concept for him to accept.

He stops pacing at stares at Istredd's figure on their bed. Hesitates. Considers. And just sort of slides down to the floor, legs sprawled out, his back to Istredd's bed. Stares up at the ceiling and thinks of layingin a cave with Castiel, drawing out invisible silvery shapes in their green bubble. He closes his eyes and tilts his head forward and skips his consciousness a little left of center.

The restless energy hasn't left him when he appears, but he is momentarily thrown for a loop at the change of scenery. His lips twitch.]
What's this, then?

Date: 2023-06-05 05:25 am (UTC)
thedevilwhorose: » power (so much pain and suffering)
From: [personal profile] thedevilwhorose
[He blinks. Slow. A weird mix in his head thinks he's not in the mood to play student and boy is he undergoing the same lessons as Wilhelm? Cool, that's fun.

It's not that he doesn't get what Istredd's setting up for him. An outlet, one that won't wind him like even reality would.

In an ideal world Lucifer would in fact have created an entire room's worth of something to just shatter through. Unleash his anger. Because there's so much of it.

But rarely does Lucifer cooperate and some of that maw needing to snap is still there and they're in the Horizon and--

Lucifer holds up a hand, a deadened look to his expression. He can't do this at all outside of the Horizon. Barely usually would be able to in the Horizon. But the wisps of radiance come when called to his palm, a glowing molten bomb, and he twists his wrist in one fluid motion.

It sails in whizzing, meteor-strike fashion, mere millimeters by Istredd's head, burning at skin as it goes.

It does actually shatter into some kind of stalagmite crystalline structure behind Istredd. Oh. Look. Supposedly he was aiming for something.

Lucifer only tilts his head, a flicker to the destruction beyond Istredd, and then looking back.

Well. Istredd does make a good point. He could let loose, get out some of that anger he's holding onto.]

perfectly healthy normal things

Date: 2023-06-05 06:32 am (UTC)
thedevilwhorose: » power (we must learn)
From: [personal profile] thedevilwhorose
[Despite his mood, he still deliberately missed Istredd with the strike. He might feel bad about it sometime further down the road.

It's clear he doesn't right now, something else checked in, because now, now Lucifer is on the hunt. An chilling golden blade finds its way into his hand, not unlike the angel blade he had showed to Kyle and Istredd. This is different, the metal twisting slightly around itself before it comes to a point, and an actual grip that is more than just smooth surface. It sings on the air as he flicks it in his grip.]


Come onnn, Istredd. [The blade may sing, but his voice is dull as he moves, stepping around each sculpture, sinking the blade into the back of one Istredd's glass neck, twisting, cracking, and beheading it. His mind wanders the space, idle motions, searching for any sign of where the man flitted off to as he rounds a marbled Castiel and straddles it, blade tantalizing over a cheek.] This is a safe and contained space, after all! [He slides the blade across the Castiel's front, through its nonexistent heart. It likely only breaks apart more from his willpower than the archangel blade actually destroying marble.

He finds another one, slips the blade right into the back where the Castiel's spine should be, whispering over its shoulder.]
Right where I killed him the last time. Little nuisance is the entire reason I didn't get to be with my son in the first place. [Light shines up through the glass, mimicking veins of an angel's death, white bled out of eyes and mouth and where the blade comes out through the chest.

Wherever Istredd is he'll get a brief flash of Castiel's actual death as it happens to the fake one, sent out like a cobra bite of a psychic attack. The glass clinks to the floor in a pile. Lucifer crunches his foot over a piece and sneers.]
Stole the little incubator of a woman while I was trussed up by the usurper of my throne.

[He laughs. Teeters. And hurls the blade across the room, into a metal Istredd's chest.] And I stiiiiill didn't tell him the truth. Kept the kid's secret soooo there could be no risks. No bleed. No threat. [The room hums. That telltale high-pitched whistle pierces the air. Head splitting, ear bleeding. Lucifer laughs. His shadowed wings mantle around him, drawing up his full power.] Castiel thinks he's the father and I could crush him one last time. One real, final blow. But I won't. [He doesn't yet know that Castiel... already knows from reasons outside of them. But still. It wasn't Lucifer to land that blow.

The sound upticks a notch. Istredd will need a protective layer to not feel the effects.

Lucifer screams, an earth-shaking sonic attack, and everything in the room explodes.

The sounds slowly fade. He passes out from the excessive use and before he even hits the ground, whether or not Istredd would've interfered, he's blinked out of the Horizon, and he is out of their room like a shot, gone.

He's not so fucked he slams the mental doors between them, but it's a near thing. Keeps them open. Were Istredd to look for him in the nearest future to hours later, he'll be hunched in on himself on that High Point in Thorne where they had maybe their first disastrous conversation.

He has a string, a thread of sorts, ends tied to make a large loop. He's playing Cat's Cradle again and again and again, staring at nothing, his thoughts not static but very blank.]
Edited (edit edit edit but also check my plurk because I'm paranoid LOL ) Date: 2023-06-05 07:16 am (UTC)

Date: 2023-06-05 03:38 pm (UTC)
thedevilwhorose: (Default)
From: [personal profile] thedevilwhorose
[He thumps into Istredd's side almost immediately, head on Istredd's shoulder, eyes closed, almost looking asleep though his hands are still going through the shapes of the string game. The contact is just as much for himself as it is Istredd, he thinks. Hopes?

He doesn't think Istredd entirely miscalculated. It should have been a good idea, and maybe had Istredd just left him in the space without speaking it could've worked on instinct, but Lucifer saw person and red and there was his outlet.]


It happens. It's allowed to happen.

[The dullness is gone and now he's just tired, even from the Horizon, likely more than would be normal. It was still a full expenditure of himself and so much of it was mental energy. In a way Istredd's method did work, Lucifer just took it and shredded it into something else.

If he knew the reason he was so upset this would be easier, maybe. But he really doesn't.]


I've been here a year now.

[Abraxas. Him and Wilhelm, around the same day. Jack had been maybe only a few months. He doesn't really remember. He just remembers seeing him in Nocwich during the recovery period. He's lost a couple acquaintances in shorter amounts of time but he didn't really think... time is often not an archangel problem. It isn't like he sat back and waited though, either. They were in contact. He reached out. It's just...

Ah.

His thoughts are scattered about. Like maybe if he throws a dart he'll find what his problem is, but he thinks it's just everything, tangled together.

But maybe he's landed on something.

His lack of control. Their lack of control. To keep anyone here, really.]


I wanted to tell you. [God, he really wanted to.] Only Wanda knew, and that was... circumstance. Before the kid was here. She was... rather displeased when I told her she couldn't tell anyone the truth. Might've been more upset than me about everything. [He doesn't know what Istredd knows about her kids.

He's gonna have to give her an 'update' at some point and he can imagine how that's going to go, her own gaping sadness.]
Edited Date: 2023-06-05 03:45 pm (UTC)

Date: 2023-06-05 05:24 pm (UTC)
thedevilwhorose: (the ballad of life)
From: [personal profile] thedevilwhorose
[Physical reassurance is growing as a good thing for Lucifer but he knows how much it helps ground Istredd. It's less an apology and more a thank you. He'd assumed Istredd would come to him eventually, assumed he likely wouldn't even have been upset with Lucifer. But still. Thank you, just the same. For continuing to roll with Lucifer's punches, or in this case a whizzing ball of holy fire.

He doesn't do anything alone, and that is a surprising realization. Even his treasonous ploys go through a handful of people. Committee. He values other's opinions because while in the past he'd do whatever he felt like on a whim, consequences be damned, he can't anymore.

Whatever happens to him affects the rest of them, one way or another. Whatever happens to any of them. Whatever they do.

And that matters now.]
Yeah? [A chuckle.] And how'd he take that?

Date: 2023-06-06 01:59 am (UTC)
thedevilwhorose: (because I'm too afraid)
From: [personal profile] thedevilwhorose
He said I shouldn't be blamed for the actions I hadn't personally committed yet. [Which while what he'd prefer, is not something he is accustomed to. The Blame Game is strong when you're him, though he thinks it's lessened substantially here. He has enough of a footing. Enough of a structure of people around him that if someone tries to shake him he's less likely to overreact.

He sighs. An exhalation of being, pushed out. Bone-limp. The only movement is still his hands and fingers, held down between his knees, the thread constantly in motion.

Under the outside, over the second, pick up the third. Under, over, pick up. Under, over...]
I don't like acceptance. [Shocker. Accepting that Jack is gone, that he never really had a chance, that their control is so frail, that this was ultimately just a blip of a moment in time.]

Date: 2023-06-06 03:17 am (UTC)
thedevilwhorose: (holy child)
From: [personal profile] thedevilwhorose
[He's silent for likely awhile. Long enough that the sun's starting its decent, the bleed of color over Thorne. Lucifer can feel it, and it's what gets him to open his eyes for the first time, watching from where he's still pressed into Istredd's side.

Abraxas doesn't have the same beauty as Earth but that's also 100% biased.

Eventually, meaningfully, doesn't need to be said but he says it anyway:]
Sorry I threw a ball of energy near your head. [Basically at his head. But. Semantics.]

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] thedevilwhorose - Date: 2023-06-06 04:32 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] thedevilwhorose - Date: 2023-06-06 09:13 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] thedevilwhorose - Date: 2023-06-06 09:44 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] thedevilwhorose - Date: 2023-06-07 12:52 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] thedevilwhorose - Date: 2023-06-07 01:58 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] thedevilwhorose - Date: 2023-06-07 02:40 am (UTC) - Expand

wrap here?

From: [personal profile] thedevilwhorose - Date: 2023-06-07 04:00 am (UTC) - Expand