"You were an uphill battle to be certain, little did I know." They both started out on an even surface, tolerating each other to see if it was easier than getting a new roommate. Istredd probably generally liked him sooner, he was pleasant company, he pulled him out of the library when he didn't have to. Most of the time people just left him alone. He wasn't used to someone coming for him.
"But I don't know, in a strange way, it's felt easy with you too. I've always struggled with uncertainty about other people, but with you, it felt ... natural." Which shouldn't be possible as they are unnatural. Different worlds, different species, highly different backgrounds. It's the truth though.
Even now it is easy to lean his forehead against Lucifer's, put an arm around his waist to reel him in, close, comfortable. "I'm glad that you like me. Especially for the mundane, dumb reasons."
Lucifer is either Great at leaving people alone and the Most Annoying.
"Were an uphill battle?" He still is, you can't tell him otherwise. He knows.
Thorne gave them a lot of problems. Thorne also put them in a space where they either had to rely on each other or become a bloodbath and instantly betray one another. They picked a route, but it always makes Lucifer cautious of new Summoned. How the boat will get rocked. How they all get screwed because one person started a Rube Goldberg Machine of problems with just something so small.
He doesn't blame Wilhelm for anything; Wilhelm blames himself enough on his own.
But the kid's anxiety is a prime offering for the life they have in Thorne.
One, out-of-place anxiety.
"I have to be considered natural somewhere," he jests.
"I mean before I understood you." Uphill until he could really get what was going on with Lucifer, crack himself into his mind and spill out some of his secrets. Now Istredd's managed that, but he knows that Lucifer wouldn't like to be past tense a battle. It's in his nature to be difficult.
"You will always be a challenge, Lucifer. I wouldn't want you any other way." The absolute truth. Istredd's in love with him because of it. He likes that he's difficult. That's why he thinks it's oddly natural.
He worries about new people all of the time too. Every time they seem like they have balanced the Thorne Summoned well, a new group comes in, with all the threats and concerns that brings. But he felt that way in the start too, and now they all have one another. He's willing to be patient with others. To a point.
It's easier with Lucifer. Having that solid ground to fall back on, always.
"It's not like I'm easy." Laughable! Istredd only appears to be that way. A different kind of difficult.
Istredd's the only one that would see Lucifer as a solid ground and that's. Well. That's everything.
Unspoken, as it is. Untranslated, as most thoughts from Lucifer are. The problems of being connected to an extremely inhuman mind.
"Ha! You're easy for me. Easy to read."
From someone that's accustomed to manipulating and twisting souls.
He reaches up and thumbs behind Istredd's ear.
"Easy to understand touch." He drags the same hand down behind Istredd, to the small of his back, grinning, "Comfort." He nudges towards Istredd, lips parted. It's whether or not anyone is willing to put in the effort. For both of them. For as fucked up as they both are, myriad of complications and all.
Lucifer is the most solid ground Istredd's had for a long time. He's not even certain he's ever found it with another person. The last thing he and Yennefer could be was solid. They always knew they were doomed as the Brotherhood wouldn't allow a relationship between mages to get in the way of their politics. They were naive in hoping maybe they could keep pieces, but the only solid ground Istredd's ever found was solo. Something he made for himself.
He didn't know this is what love could be like too.
"Oh good, I'm an open book to you. As long as it's not a boring book." His tone is dry.
Istredd laughs when Lucifer utilizes touch to win him over, and it works, of course, it'll always work. He's grinning when he leans in and kisses him, as Lucifer already knew that he would, because his parted lips are inviting and he is weak.
Loving you is effortless, for me. Easy. Natural, as he's said.
The one that Istredd has already practically sanctified. And! Maybe it is interesting! But they both know it likely isn't. Its meaning comes through in other ways that Lucifer will not acknowledge despite being the one that sold a firecracker enchantment and went to Nott when he had been adamantly avoiding it since their last trip and bought the dumb, no-nonsense, likely-very-boring book.
"I'll probably read it to find out if it's boring or not."
But they both know the symbol is what matters. If it turns out to be an incredible read, that would be nice, but he doesn't care about the story. Istredd may not get past ten pages, he'll find out. Lucifer is good with gestures. He shows the way he feels, either through their bond or through his actions, and Istredd doesn't need the words because of it. He uses the words because he's comfortable with them.
"I'm so many firsts for you." Istredd teases, one of the only things he is going to be eternally smug about. The book only feeds into that. "I can't speak for others, only myself, and that's the truth."
"Only 'probably'?" Only probably read it? "All the time and effort I put into acquiring that book," he bemoans, clearly acting up, clearly out of reaction to Istredd being Soft and Lucifer not knowing how to handle that, ever. Time and time again, still doesn't have any proper response to it. "My few pennies, spent away. All for a token." 'Of his affection' is certainly left out of the sentence maybe because he only quite realized what it was.
That's fine.
It's nothing.
Don't worry about it.
Sweep it under the rug with all the skeletons.
Uhhhhhggggnnnh.
Look. No reaction is better than the 'good for you' reaction that almost manifested in his thoughts.
Istredd laughs. "Oh then I guess I should read it out loud to you. Since you put so much effort into getting it. We can share the experience." Istredd does have a nice voice. The kids he had to read to after they destroyed all that glass seemed to enjoy listening to it read them books. He ended up not hating that punishment. Also, he still had no regrets.
"Lucky me, being the object of your affection." Lucifer may be leaving it out, but Istredd won't. He's teasing him though, taking the bite out of the reality of those words. He is absolutely confident about Lucifer's feelings for him. He probably understands better than Lucifer does, what those are.
He kisses one of Lucifer's cheeks and then the other, the energy of 'same book, same page, same sentence.' Istredd curls his fingers into the front of Lucifer's shirt and pulls him, walking backwards to their bed and sitting on it, tugging him to follow. They can't snuggle as well when standing.
I didn't get you anything. I'll have to think of something.
"Don't feel insulted if I fall asleep. It will have all to do with the contents of that book." And likely the lull of Istredd reading but hey, shut up.
The thought of getting a gift is as funny and out of place to him as it is for Istredd to receive one.
It's just things that don't happen.
New descriptor for the Thorne Summoned: simply screwed-up beyond reason.
He does move with ease even though he can snuggle just as well standing, why can't you, Istredd? He's only an immovable force when he chooses to be, so any potential eyerolling petulance that also follows is all for show.
He knew Istredd was going to be insufferable, but still, he hates this man. Hates him with the fires of a thousand suns yada yada yada. Passion, as it turns out, is a real bitch.
Istredd is new to gift giving himself, part of it being that he keeps thinking it has to be something that is useful. He loves getting sentimental gifts, if his reaction to the book is anything, but he still has that streak of wanting to be useful to someone. When the gesture can sometimes be more than the item. He'll think of something for Lucifer.
He sits and encourages Lucifer to climb onto him, not unlike how he did that night in Hayle, coming in close to him, looking up at him. Istredd cups his face with one hand, thumb caressing his cheek gently. There is so much love in his eyes, enough that Lucifer wouldn't have to feel it from him to still sense it.
I didn't need the book. I'll think of something. I'll even try to make it not obnoxiously sentimental like me. Nah, it probably will be in some fashion. With Lucifer he is relentlessly romantic. Istredd uses his other hand to run down Lucifer's arm and thread their fingers together.
I know that I please you just by existing though. Istredd flashes a grin full of mischief. It's probably foul play to use things said in the middle of sex but he's going to do it anyway.
"Oh, good, I wouldn't be able to survive you and an obnoxiously sentimental gift," he says, but he's not optimistic. 'Try' is the keyword in Istredd's sentence.
Lucifer has more 'stuff' to his name than he's ever had--why would he need material things in the past? Even clothing and jewelry of his vessels were just part of the costume.
The things in Lucifer's possession now are quite random. The strange trinkets as rewards or various party favors. The odds and ends Lucifer has taken to use as spell anchors. Clothing accessories that are his own and he does prefer to have when he leaves Thorne. The small weapon that he is very possessive of. The necklaces, one of which that simply appeared much like his cloak.
Most of it is practical, and the items that aren't have grown on him.
He is the first one of them to take something out of context from the middle of sex to use it so he really shouldn't be surprised by Istredd doing the same.
It still earns Istredd a mild thwap to an arm with his 'unrestrained' hand.
"Yes," he drawls, you're the gift that just keeps giving.
Edited (gotta make sure to hit you with a bunch of edits from time to time ) Date: 2023-08-24 07:55 am (UTC)
"You knew who you were getting involved with. Although I guess we both were surprised about how the other acts in a relationship."
Istredd has always been emotional and sentimental even as only friends, but he did blossom once they started this, his steady pulse of love and adoration one he's never curbed successfully since this began. And Lucifer's constant closeness, the way he's on top of him like now, was a huge surprise. The best surprise, an eternally pleasant surprise.
Technically Lucifer does have a little sentimental trinket of Istredd, the pin he took from him from the masquerade. It hasn't been ignored that he still wears it sometimes. He laughs when Lucifer thwaps him, undeterred. He lifts the hand he has and kisses the knuckles sweetly.
I am. I'm yours. He follows that up by leaning up and stealing a soft brief kiss from him because he's allowed to. Can I ask you a strange random question? He asks as if he plans on waiting for an answer. "Who was the vessel you're in?" There are a lot of things they still haven't discussed.
Lucifer barks a laugh. That's--that's the question Istredd wants to ask, while Lucifer is straddling him on their bed? But yeah. Sure. Okay. Why not.
"The Story of Nick," he says aloud, cheery, "is a bad one, like most, if not all, of my stories." He could just leave it at that. Yeah it's some poor sod named Nick, the end. But he has no reason not to tell Istredd, other than it being a mood killer to the level that Lucifer wasn't looking for. He's generally told Istredd things when asked about his past, with some pushback depending how raw-open he was, and many of those times he told Istredd of his past it was intentional in order to try and make him Go Away.
But he's mostly done with that modus operandi. Once you tell someone you doomed all of humanity, the rest is kind of just welp. Maybe the 'smaller actions' hit differently but they don't change anything in the now.
"The random pick, Nick. I had one of my demons orchestrate how to make the man a shell of a person by the time I needed a vessel. I needed the right level of... mmm... mental brokenness I suppose you could say for my vessels to hold me without burning through them. And even then, Nick was well into decaying by the time I hopped into Sam. The demon broke into Nick's home and gutted his wife and child in their beds." A brief pause. "The demon's name was Abraxas."
And there's that little tidbit about why sometimes Lucifer still has issues about this world and his existence on it, and his entire life related to it. Why it seems like it could be a bad joke of his Father's.
"When I was searching for a vessel after my initial release from Hell, I went to Nick first. I manipulated his dreams. His perception. Made him relive his trauma. Took on the appearance of his wife to push home the horror, though I did tell him I was Lucifer. And offered him a chance for vengeance against God for allowing this massacre of his life to occur. Let's take our anger out on God, together. After all, my Father did allow me to pull those puppet strings, just as God had himself. Nick just assumed it was a random act of violence, one that had the case dropped and the crime never solved.
"I was surprised his soul was still kicking around in these walls when I got stuffed back in this skinsuit, but I guess he didn't make it through the sift that was coming into Abraxas."
Istredd is eternally curious and there are still a lot of things he doesn't know. They have a tendency to talk constantly and yet not talk about some things they probably should. This isn't a should, but maybe a part of him thinks that since he's been having sex with this vessel, he should at least know something about it. He knows there's no human left in it, it's a shell as Lucifer has told him before, but he's still curious.
Maybe it's a mood killer, but he's rarely been turned off by learning more about Lucifer, even when it's bad news. Istredd looks up at him as he listens to the sad tale of this Nick, and yet despite the very tragic information about the man's family, he is of course completely frozen at the name Abraxas.
"Well that's a mindfuck of a coincidental name." Istredd can't begin to think what that would mean if it's not coincidence. Just bizarre. He does get why the name of this place throws Lucifer though. He refuses to think that this place is all a design of Lucifer's God though. It could be, Michael seemed to think it was, but until proven, he's refusing.
"And?" Istredd puts an arm around his back and tugs him closer, then running that hand up his spine, affection not pausing in the slightest. What happened to force you back into the body since it wasn't your vessel? He remembers that Sam Winchester is supposed to be. A year later and he's asking the details.
For all of Lucifer's next words, and following explanation, while he spits vitriol--it's the calmest his anger has ever been displayed.
"Right! I show up here after fleeing from the alternate psycho-version of Michael, end up on some crazy world with the same name as one of my demons, and then get punched with the fact that I need to sleep now and get the circus freakshow of nightmares of my Cage and my Father! What was I supposed to think of this place?"
He's given Istredd a smattering of details here and there but not the whole piece of the puzzle of how he ended up in his current predicament.
He's tapping fingers against their laced-together hands like he's ticking them off, mostly to keep track of the order of events. "Got shoved back into the Cage with Sam alongside Michael. Later on convinced Castiel to be my vessel in order to stop our aunt--long, long story there--but she expelled me during the battle. The problem with not having a previously-tapped, made-to-order backup vessel is you... can't find anyone to hold you. So I burned through, I don't know, dozens, of bodies before I settled into the--bard." 'Bard' is better to go with than rockstar, even though Istredd Gets That Now.
He snaps his fingers with his other hand. "Got sent to the bottom of the ocean for, I don't know, two weeks, by a witch." And yet! He's friends with Wanda! Lookit that. "Became the president--country leader--after I burned up the bard. Should've gone back to the Cage after whatever those knuckleheads used on me but sooooome little worm of a demon who got too comfortable holding my throne apparently scraped Nick off the floorboards and kept him on lockdown. Probably worked with his witchbitch Mommy Dearest, like he's smart enough on his own. Replicated all of the Cages warding and spellwork and 'carved it into every molecule.' I don't know how he redirected my descent, but he made me a nice and tidy prisoner, with a lovely security system through this body that I very much was pleased to slap back towards him and take back what was mine."
He looks oddly putout for a moment though. "I'll give Crowley some credit, he was as much an undying cockroach as Castiel. Just when you think you've killed him, he pops back up again. His parting shot was sacrificing himself to strand me on another world--where I was before I came here."
It is calm for his anger and Istredd listens closely again.
"You like to sleep."
Lucifer likes perching, he likes being a nuisane, and he likes sleep. Istredd likes having a timeline to his partner's life. He knows how little time Lucifer's been out of his Cage, they've discussed it before, but this fills in a few blanks. He appreciates the use of 'bard' and 'country leader' since those explain the terms to him without having to ask. He makes note of all the details he's getting and lifts the hand they're sharing to kiss Lucifer's knuckles gently.
"So much happened to you in what, a few years?" At most. He doesn't know the time table. It could be a decade, but that's not much for people like them. This was on the tail of nothing happening to him for a long, long time. And he fathered Jack somewhere in there. Istredd's eating up word for word, it sounds like something meant for one of those fiction books he doesn't read.
Istredd considers and lifts his hand from Lucifer's back to run through his hair and then cup his cheek. "Well if none of that happened, you wouldn't be here. And yes this is a bad compromise for you, compared to what you wanted, but there are worse options." Such as death and oblivion. Neither of which he's willing to acknowledge as options.
"I like knowing things about you, even the questionable ones." Like Nick. He isn't going to mince words there. Questionable is a mild word for it. "This is the most interesting my life has ever been. Outside of the one brief adventure with Geralt. And trying to save the elves, but that was useless."
"I like to sleep now. Just the same as I like to eat!" And actually taste things. "I hated it in the beginning. I still hate it sometimes. You." He pokes Istredd in the side and makes up for it when he adds, "Make it more-than tolerable."
He was always very bad (for good reasons) at keeping track of time in Hell. "Hell adds some extra years to the timetable, so I'm not sure." And once Sammy's soul got retrieved he lost his human chewtoy entertainment and was just stuck with Michael. They sure did not pass the time wisely.
He dips his head into the touch. "You mean all of the questionable ones," he states, simple. There's some that aren't, like his memory of flying. But most of Lucifer's very early memories are completely colored by the Mark and what happened after. It's nearly impossible to look at them in any good light.
I know, your life was so boring, here I am with mountain ranges of life details about me, and you with a volcano. An active volcano, at least. Proof of life within all that locked in his own world vibe.
"Oh do I?" Istredd says with a smile. "I couldn't tell with how you drape on top of me and lock your limbs into mine." They hook together sometimes in a way that's almost impossible to break out of, but he doesn't want to, so it's fine. This is not a complaint, it's a tease, considering he intentionally pulled Lucifer on top of him, as if he can't resist making them touch at all times. They both want it.
Istredd's the bad one in public. Lucifer's better at not giving into it there, Istredd has a tendency to still want to touch him. Hand holding, the occasional kiss on the cheek. It's difficult not to.
"Yes, I mean all of them. All of you." There is nothing about him Istredd hasn't been able to accept. He may not love hearing about the dark parts, but they're Lucifer. "But I liked the flying the most." Not only because it has no violence involved, but because it was beautiful. Freeing. His love has experienced endless unique things that he can only dream of.
He sits up closer so he can kiss him. Eighty or ninety years later and my life is finally interesting. Being here is interesting! And insane! He leans back onto his hands, breaking the kiss, head tipped back to look at Lucifer. "I plan on climbing all those mountain ranges."
Shut up, Istredd. Rarely does Lucifer actually give proper credit, so be pleased.
(He knows Istredd is. That's not the point.)
At least Istredd will always know he's safe and securing in an unbreakable hold of Lucifer's arms. That odd reassurance. But they would, evidently, have a problem in public from Lucifer's end if, say, Istredd was covered in blood. Not even the queen would likely keep Lucifer cautious.
... Well.
Okay.
Maybe the queen.
"Enjoy your fool's-end expedition," he says, and he's sure that's what people said about Everest and yet have had many succeed at climbing it (and coming back alive). The flying part may be the only untainted part of him. He doesn't, by some miracle, doubt Istredd's own expedition despite his spoken words.
Istredd is endlessly smug and pleased with himself when it comes to Lucifer. He has the book to prove why.
If Istredd was covered in blood, he would be smart enough to immediately excuse them somewhere else. If he had to give a report of some kind as to why, he would do it quickly, and then run off. He knows what he's about now. As strange as that 'about' may be.
Istredd grips Lucifer at the hips and turns them, placing Lucifer onto the bed if he allows it. He's graceful at it these days, but it does remind him sometimes of their first hook up. They're far enough from the drama for him to see it only in positive happy ways. He follows onto him and smiles, hands clasping Lucifer's and pressing them down against the bed.
All smokescreen, of course, Lucifer is so much stronger than him that it's hilarious. Anything he does physically is only what he allows him. But when he does allow him, it's still nice.
"I won't be satisfied until I know everything about you, everything you'll let me know." Sometimes he can sneak things that Lucifer didn't intend to tell him, but he doesn't want to pick at scabs either. "You really did pick the wrong person if you wanted to remain a mystery."
The benefit, too, is that Lucifer will keep his word; he won't tap Istredd out again in this kind of scenario. Hopefully not at all, but he only made the one agreement.
Lucifer's said enough that no one can make him do anything, Istredd especially. Any bend and twist and break he makes to Istredd's hands are all by choice, liquid-movements giving in. He'll easily and languidly resettle, content.
"I picked the wrong person regardless when I let you into my head at all," he says, enjoying the feel of Istredd over top him. That should distance themselves from that first night, regardless to how far they've come, if only because their positions are flipped. "Even if you did know everything, you wouldn't be satisfied," he continues, amused. As though your thirst is ever quenchable.
Istredd accepted that he can't promise forever not to knock him out, there are scenarios where it might have to happen. And he'll probably be angry at the time, but as long as this promise is made, he's fine with it. He's too sensitive when it comes to their intimacy not to get his shackles up about it. But he trusts Lucifer. That first time was panic. He understands.
Looking down at him now, a warm smile curling at his lips, Istredd can only see the ways they've changed for the better. He pins Lucifer's hands down but only by tangling their fingers together first. Yes, I am eternally thirsty. Since he now knows the term he says it very dryly. Istredd chuckles and leans in to steal a kiss, squeezing their joined hands, only stopping when he needs to come up for air.
"Then again, did you actually pick me, or did I wear you down with constant emotional support and adoration until you gave in?"
"Yeaaaah, that's not what happened." He tilts his head, considering, careful. He's lax against the bed, pooled pleasure. "I truly mean no offense," and that's accurate throughout his thoughts, very loud and clear, "but you were a mistake." It sounds bad but it's really not! From anyone else it might be terrible. Dishonesty might be the better answer, but he isn't about that. "I didn't pick you and if you were wearing me down I wouldn't have given it, I would've left."
He hums, watching Istredd, squeezing back at their hands as Istredd had done, as though he's fearful that Istredd will take offense from the words and draw away.
"You got under my armor," he lulls. "A mouse stealthily sneaking in, making a nest, remaining unnoticed until the damage was already done." He shrugs which is awkward while laying down. "But far as mistakes go." Grins a little. "Worked out."
Luckily for Lucifer, Istredd knows him, so he laughs instead of getting offended. "You're great at the romantic gestures, you still need to work on the words." The sentiment is the same as any sweetness though. Istredd's a mistake because he took Lucifer by surprise and it was too late to stop it by the time it began. He's fine with that.
He squeezes Lucifer's hands again where he has them pinned, his thumb hooking to caress his knuckles, and kisses each cheek sweetly. "But I'm your favorite mistake." Lucifer doesn't admit to many mistakes anyway, since he doesn't regret much of what he's done, but Istredd's never asked him to. He is who he is. That's what people don't realize when they warn him about his partner. He might as well laugh in their face too. As if he doesn't know who is in his bed.
"It's not far from what I assumed would happen if you ever started to want me though. That it would be gradual and surprising." Istredd had that tiny bit of hope even as he lied because he wanted it so much to be true. "It would've been stranger if we tried to court the normal way."
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Date: 2023-08-18 03:18 am (UTC)"But I don't know, in a strange way, it's felt easy with you too. I've always struggled with uncertainty about other people, but with you, it felt ... natural." Which shouldn't be possible as they are unnatural. Different worlds, different species, highly different backgrounds. It's the truth though.
Even now it is easy to lean his forehead against Lucifer's, put an arm around his waist to reel him in, close, comfortable. "I'm glad that you like me. Especially for the mundane, dumb reasons."
no subject
Date: 2023-08-19 03:34 am (UTC)"Were an uphill battle?" He still is, you can't tell him otherwise. He knows.
Thorne gave them a lot of problems. Thorne also put them in a space where they either had to rely on each other or become a bloodbath and instantly betray one another. They picked a route, but it always makes Lucifer cautious of new Summoned. How the boat will get rocked. How they all get screwed because one person started a Rube Goldberg Machine of problems with just something so small.
He doesn't blame Wilhelm for anything; Wilhelm blames himself enough on his own.
But the kid's anxiety is a prime offering for the life they have in Thorne.
One, out-of-place anxiety.
"I have to be considered natural somewhere," he jests.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-19 03:44 am (UTC)"You will always be a challenge, Lucifer. I wouldn't want you any other way." The absolute truth. Istredd's in love with him because of it. He likes that he's difficult. That's why he thinks it's oddly natural.
He worries about new people all of the time too. Every time they seem like they have balanced the Thorne Summoned well, a new group comes in, with all the threats and concerns that brings. But he felt that way in the start too, and now they all have one another. He's willing to be patient with others. To a point.
It's easier with Lucifer. Having that solid ground to fall back on, always.
"It's not like I'm easy." Laughable! Istredd only appears to be that way. A different kind of difficult.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-19 04:01 am (UTC)Unspoken, as it is. Untranslated, as most thoughts from Lucifer are. The problems of being connected to an extremely inhuman mind.
"Ha! You're easy for me. Easy to read."
From someone that's accustomed to manipulating and twisting souls.
He reaches up and thumbs behind Istredd's ear.
"Easy to understand touch." He drags the same hand down behind Istredd, to the small of his back, grinning, "Comfort." He nudges towards Istredd, lips parted. It's whether or not anyone is willing to put in the effort. For both of them. For as fucked up as they both are, myriad of complications and all.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-19 04:22 am (UTC)He didn't know this is what love could be like too.
"Oh good, I'm an open book to you. As long as it's not a boring book." His tone is dry.
Istredd laughs when Lucifer utilizes touch to win him over, and it works, of course, it'll always work. He's grinning when he leans in and kisses him, as Lucifer already knew that he would, because his parted lips are inviting and he is weak.
Loving you is effortless, for me. Easy. Natural, as he's said.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-19 05:57 am (UTC)The one that Istredd has already practically sanctified. And! Maybe it is interesting! But they both know it likely isn't. Its meaning comes through in other ways that Lucifer will not acknowledge despite being the one that sold a firecracker enchantment and went to Nott when he had been adamantly avoiding it since their last trip and bought the dumb, no-nonsense, likely-very-boring book.
So.
"You'd be the first," to say that.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-19 06:12 am (UTC)But they both know the symbol is what matters. If it turns out to be an incredible read, that would be nice, but he doesn't care about the story. Istredd may not get past ten pages, he'll find out. Lucifer is good with gestures. He shows the way he feels, either through their bond or through his actions, and Istredd doesn't need the words because of it. He uses the words because he's comfortable with them.
"I'm so many firsts for you." Istredd teases, one of the only things he is going to be eternally smug about. The book only feeds into that. "I can't speak for others, only myself, and that's the truth."
no subject
Date: 2023-08-19 06:46 am (UTC)That's fine.
It's nothing.
Don't worry about it.
Sweep it under the rug with all the skeletons.
Uhhhhhggggnnnh.
Look. No reaction is better than the 'good for you' reaction that almost manifested in his thoughts.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-19 01:47 pm (UTC)"Lucky me, being the object of your affection." Lucifer may be leaving it out, but Istredd won't. He's teasing him though, taking the bite out of the reality of those words. He is absolutely confident about Lucifer's feelings for him. He probably understands better than Lucifer does, what those are.
He kisses one of Lucifer's cheeks and then the other, the energy of 'same book, same page, same sentence.' Istredd curls his fingers into the front of Lucifer's shirt and pulls him, walking backwards to their bed and sitting on it, tugging him to follow. They can't snuggle as well when standing.
I didn't get you anything. I'll have to think of something.
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Date: 2023-08-20 07:26 am (UTC)The thought of getting a gift is as funny and out of place to him as it is for Istredd to receive one.
It's just things that don't happen.
New descriptor for the Thorne Summoned: simply screwed-up beyond reason.
He does move with ease even though he can snuggle just as well standing, why can't you, Istredd? He's only an immovable force when he chooses to be, so any potential eyerolling petulance that also follows is all for show.
He knew Istredd was going to be insufferable, but still, he hates this man. Hates him with the fires of a thousand suns yada yada yada. Passion, as it turns out, is a real bitch.
I don't need anything.
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Date: 2023-08-20 03:10 pm (UTC)He sits and encourages Lucifer to climb onto him, not unlike how he did that night in Hayle, coming in close to him, looking up at him. Istredd cups his face with one hand, thumb caressing his cheek gently. There is so much love in his eyes, enough that Lucifer wouldn't have to feel it from him to still sense it.
I didn't need the book. I'll think of something. I'll even try to make it not obnoxiously sentimental like me. Nah, it probably will be in some fashion. With Lucifer he is relentlessly romantic. Istredd uses his other hand to run down Lucifer's arm and thread their fingers together.
I know that I please you just by existing though. Istredd flashes a grin full of mischief. It's probably foul play to use things said in the middle of sex but he's going to do it anyway.
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Date: 2023-08-24 07:49 am (UTC)Lucifer has more 'stuff' to his name than he's ever had--why would he need material things in the past? Even clothing and jewelry of his vessels were just part of the costume.
The things in Lucifer's possession now are quite random. The strange trinkets as rewards or various party favors. The odds and ends Lucifer has taken to use as spell anchors. Clothing accessories that are his own and he does prefer to have when he leaves Thorne. The small weapon that he is very possessive of. The necklaces, one of which that simply appeared much like his cloak.
Most of it is practical, and the items that aren't have grown on him.
He is the first one of them to take something out of context from the middle of sex to use it so he really shouldn't be surprised by Istredd doing the same.
It still earns Istredd a mild thwap to an arm with his 'unrestrained' hand.
"Yes," he drawls, you're the gift that just keeps giving.
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Date: 2023-08-24 01:31 pm (UTC)Istredd has always been emotional and sentimental even as only friends, but he did blossom once they started this, his steady pulse of love and adoration one he's never curbed successfully since this began. And Lucifer's constant closeness, the way he's on top of him like now, was a huge surprise. The best surprise, an eternally pleasant surprise.
Technically Lucifer does have a little sentimental trinket of Istredd, the pin he took from him from the masquerade. It hasn't been ignored that he still wears it sometimes. He laughs when Lucifer thwaps him, undeterred. He lifts the hand he has and kisses the knuckles sweetly.
I am. I'm yours. He follows that up by leaning up and stealing a soft brief kiss from him because he's allowed to. Can I ask you a strange random question? He asks as if he plans on waiting for an answer. "Who was the vessel you're in?" There are a lot of things they still haven't discussed.
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Date: 2023-08-25 03:29 am (UTC)"The Story of Nick," he says aloud, cheery, "is a bad one, like most, if not all, of my stories." He could just leave it at that. Yeah it's some poor sod named Nick, the end. But he has no reason not to tell Istredd, other than it being a mood killer to the level that Lucifer wasn't looking for. He's generally told Istredd things when asked about his past, with some pushback depending how raw-open he was, and many of those times he told Istredd of his past it was intentional in order to try and make him Go Away.
But he's mostly done with that modus operandi. Once you tell someone you doomed all of humanity, the rest is kind of just welp. Maybe the 'smaller actions' hit differently but they don't change anything in the now.
"The random pick, Nick. I had one of my demons orchestrate how to make the man a shell of a person by the time I needed a vessel. I needed the right level of... mmm... mental brokenness I suppose you could say for my vessels to hold me without burning through them. And even then, Nick was well into decaying by the time I hopped into Sam. The demon broke into Nick's home and gutted his wife and child in their beds." A brief pause. "The demon's name was Abraxas."
And there's that little tidbit about why sometimes Lucifer still has issues about this world and his existence on it, and his entire life related to it. Why it seems like it could be a bad joke of his Father's.
"When I was searching for a vessel after my initial release from Hell, I went to Nick first. I manipulated his dreams. His perception. Made him relive his trauma. Took on the appearance of his wife to push home the horror, though I did tell him I was Lucifer. And offered him a chance for vengeance against God for allowing this massacre of his life to occur. Let's take our anger out on God, together. After all, my Father did allow me to pull those puppet strings, just as God had himself. Nick just assumed it was a random act of violence, one that had the case dropped and the crime never solved.
"I was surprised his soul was still kicking around in these walls when I got stuffed back in this skinsuit, but I guess he didn't make it through the sift that was coming into Abraxas."
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Date: 2023-08-25 03:50 am (UTC)Maybe it's a mood killer, but he's rarely been turned off by learning more about Lucifer, even when it's bad news. Istredd looks up at him as he listens to the sad tale of this Nick, and yet despite the very tragic information about the man's family, he is of course completely frozen at the name Abraxas.
"Well that's a mindfuck of a coincidental name." Istredd can't begin to think what that would mean if it's not coincidence. Just bizarre. He does get why the name of this place throws Lucifer though. He refuses to think that this place is all a design of Lucifer's God though. It could be, Michael seemed to think it was, but until proven, he's refusing.
"And?" Istredd puts an arm around his back and tugs him closer, then running that hand up his spine, affection not pausing in the slightest. What happened to force you back into the body since it wasn't your vessel? He remembers that Sam Winchester is supposed to be. A year later and he's asking the details.
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Date: 2023-08-25 04:34 am (UTC)"Right! I show up here after fleeing from the alternate psycho-version of Michael, end up on some crazy world with the same name as one of my demons, and then get punched with the fact that I need to sleep now and get the circus freakshow of nightmares of my Cage and my Father! What was I supposed to think of this place?"
He's given Istredd a smattering of details here and there but not the whole piece of the puzzle of how he ended up in his current predicament.
He's tapping fingers against their laced-together hands like he's ticking them off, mostly to keep track of the order of events. "Got shoved back into the Cage with Sam alongside Michael. Later on convinced Castiel to be my vessel in order to stop our aunt--long, long story there--but she expelled me during the battle. The problem with not having a previously-tapped, made-to-order backup vessel is you... can't find anyone to hold you. So I burned through, I don't know, dozens, of bodies before I settled into the--bard." 'Bard' is better to go with than rockstar, even though Istredd Gets That Now.
He snaps his fingers with his other hand. "Got sent to the bottom of the ocean for, I don't know, two weeks, by a witch." And yet! He's friends with Wanda! Lookit that. "Became the president--country leader--after I burned up the bard. Should've gone back to the Cage after whatever those knuckleheads used on me but sooooome little worm of a demon who got too comfortable holding my throne apparently scraped Nick off the floorboards and kept him on lockdown. Probably worked with his witchbitch Mommy Dearest, like he's smart enough on his own. Replicated all of the Cages warding and spellwork and 'carved it into every molecule.' I don't know how he redirected my descent, but he made me a nice and tidy prisoner, with a lovely security system through this body that I very much was pleased to slap back towards him and take back what was mine."
He looks oddly putout for a moment though. "I'll give Crowley some credit, he was as much an undying cockroach as Castiel. Just when you think you've killed him, he pops back up again. His parting shot was sacrificing himself to strand me on another world--where I was before I came here."
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Date: 2023-08-25 05:09 am (UTC)"You like to sleep."
Lucifer likes perching, he likes being a nuisane, and he likes sleep. Istredd likes having a timeline to his partner's life. He knows how little time Lucifer's been out of his Cage, they've discussed it before, but this fills in a few blanks. He appreciates the use of 'bard' and 'country leader' since those explain the terms to him without having to ask. He makes note of all the details he's getting and lifts the hand they're sharing to kiss Lucifer's knuckles gently.
"So much happened to you in what, a few years?" At most. He doesn't know the time table. It could be a decade, but that's not much for people like them. This was on the tail of nothing happening to him for a long, long time. And he fathered Jack somewhere in there. Istredd's eating up word for word, it sounds like something meant for one of those fiction books he doesn't read.
Istredd considers and lifts his hand from Lucifer's back to run through his hair and then cup his cheek. "Well if none of that happened, you wouldn't be here. And yes this is a bad compromise for you, compared to what you wanted, but there are worse options." Such as death and oblivion. Neither of which he's willing to acknowledge as options.
"I like knowing things about you, even the questionable ones." Like Nick. He isn't going to mince words there. Questionable is a mild word for it. "This is the most interesting my life has ever been. Outside of the one brief adventure with Geralt. And trying to save the elves, but that was useless."
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Date: 2023-08-25 05:39 am (UTC)He was always very bad (for good reasons) at keeping track of time in Hell. "Hell adds some extra years to the timetable, so I'm not sure." And once Sammy's soul got retrieved he lost his human chewtoy entertainment and was just stuck with Michael. They sure did not pass the time wisely.
He dips his head into the touch. "You mean all of the questionable ones," he states, simple. There's some that aren't, like his memory of flying. But most of Lucifer's very early memories are completely colored by the Mark and what happened after. It's nearly impossible to look at them in any good light.
I know, your life was so boring, here I am with mountain ranges of life details about me, and you with a volcano. An active volcano, at least. Proof of life within all that locked in his own world vibe.
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Date: 2023-08-25 03:32 pm (UTC)Istredd's the bad one in public. Lucifer's better at not giving into it there, Istredd has a tendency to still want to touch him. Hand holding, the occasional kiss on the cheek. It's difficult not to.
"Yes, I mean all of them. All of you." There is nothing about him Istredd hasn't been able to accept. He may not love hearing about the dark parts, but they're Lucifer. "But I liked the flying the most." Not only because it has no violence involved, but because it was beautiful. Freeing. His love has experienced endless unique things that he can only dream of.
He sits up closer so he can kiss him. Eighty or ninety years later and my life is finally interesting. Being here is interesting! And insane! He leans back onto his hands, breaking the kiss, head tipped back to look at Lucifer. "I plan on climbing all those mountain ranges."
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Date: 2023-08-31 02:59 am (UTC)(He knows Istredd is. That's not the point.)
At least Istredd will always know he's safe and securing in an unbreakable hold of Lucifer's arms. That odd reassurance. But they would, evidently, have a problem in public from Lucifer's end if, say, Istredd was covered in blood. Not even the queen would likely keep Lucifer cautious.
... Well.
Okay.
Maybe the queen.
"Enjoy your fool's-end expedition," he says, and he's sure that's what people said about Everest and yet have had many succeed at climbing it (and coming back alive). The flying part may be the only untainted part of him. He doesn't, by some miracle, doubt Istredd's own expedition despite his spoken words.
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Date: 2023-08-31 03:11 am (UTC)If Istredd was covered in blood, he would be smart enough to immediately excuse them somewhere else. If he had to give a report of some kind as to why, he would do it quickly, and then run off. He knows what he's about now. As strange as that 'about' may be.
Istredd grips Lucifer at the hips and turns them, placing Lucifer onto the bed if he allows it. He's graceful at it these days, but it does remind him sometimes of their first hook up. They're far enough from the drama for him to see it only in positive happy ways. He follows onto him and smiles, hands clasping Lucifer's and pressing them down against the bed.
All smokescreen, of course, Lucifer is so much stronger than him that it's hilarious. Anything he does physically is only what he allows him. But when he does allow him, it's still nice.
"I won't be satisfied until I know everything about you, everything you'll let me know." Sometimes he can sneak things that Lucifer didn't intend to tell him, but he doesn't want to pick at scabs either. "You really did pick the wrong person if you wanted to remain a mystery."
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Date: 2023-08-31 04:12 am (UTC)Lucifer's said enough that no one can make him do anything, Istredd especially. Any bend and twist and break he makes to Istredd's hands are all by choice, liquid-movements giving in. He'll easily and languidly resettle, content.
"I picked the wrong person regardless when I let you into my head at all," he says, enjoying the feel of Istredd over top him. That should distance themselves from that first night, regardless to how far they've come, if only because their positions are flipped. "Even if you did know everything, you wouldn't be satisfied," he continues, amused. As though your thirst is ever quenchable.
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Date: 2023-08-31 01:02 pm (UTC)Looking down at him now, a warm smile curling at his lips, Istredd can only see the ways they've changed for the better. He pins Lucifer's hands down but only by tangling their fingers together first. Yes, I am eternally thirsty. Since he now knows the term he says it very dryly. Istredd chuckles and leans in to steal a kiss, squeezing their joined hands, only stopping when he needs to come up for air.
"Then again, did you actually pick me, or did I wear you down with constant emotional support and adoration until you gave in?"
today on things Lucifer says that would usually be offensive but aren't meant to be
Date: 2023-09-14 04:23 am (UTC)He hums, watching Istredd, squeezing back at their hands as Istredd had done, as though he's fearful that Istredd will take offense from the words and draw away.
"You got under my armor," he lulls. "A mouse stealthily sneaking in, making a nest, remaining unnoticed until the damage was already done." He shrugs which is awkward while laying down. "But far as mistakes go." Grins a little. "Worked out."
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Date: 2023-09-14 01:06 pm (UTC)He squeezes Lucifer's hands again where he has them pinned, his thumb hooking to caress his knuckles, and kisses each cheek sweetly. "But I'm your favorite mistake." Lucifer doesn't admit to many mistakes anyway, since he doesn't regret much of what he's done, but Istredd's never asked him to. He is who he is. That's what people don't realize when they warn him about his partner. He might as well laugh in their face too. As if he doesn't know who is in his bed.
"It's not far from what I assumed would happen if you ever started to want me though. That it would be gradual and surprising." Istredd had that tiny bit of hope even as he lied because he wanted it so much to be true. "It would've been stranger if we tried to court the normal way."
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