[ Writing down the experience with Wanda, sharing it. It wasn't his idea but he is going to support her and she needed his details. He never noted that it wasn't his choice to share Lorelai's location because that would be ratting her out, so he chose to take the brunt of that accusation instead. He assumes Wanda will talk to Nero separately, she is unlikely to let that fly. Just ... less public than their catty conversation. ]
The public conversation, whenever we get that set up, will also be that.
[ They were talking about next month for that, time for them to get all their info in order and prepare things for people. If it is still in the library, and that seems to be a good idea so he can show off the chalkboards of information, he will need that prep time. It's true that he chose this though. He could have continued to be quiet and isolated and left everything to others. Istredd misses those days. It was simpler.
He deflates underneath Lucifer, anger bleeding away because it rarely ever stays.]
Get off me, I'm not going to fight with him anymore.
[ He is going to go and reply to other things though. He rubs at his eyes. ]
Nah. [He does take his hands off Istredd though and resumes leaning out of reach, mildly amused.] I'm far better than an 'emotional support animal.' [Except he doesn't purr.] And you're more than capable keeping up with chatter from there.
[ Istredd rolls his eyes and then focuses instead on reading the other comments that weren't him and Nero making asses of themselves in public. ]
Himeka being willing to talk to that god again is promising. I believe she's aware of the theory about the original Summoned. Having more people in Solvunn learn High Magic would be great.
[ Yes, he wanted to learn it himself, he desperately wanted to, but sometimes you can't get what you want. This will have to do. ]
You like me being on top of you. [Maybe. Probably??? Probably not he just puts up with a lot of Lucifer's eccentricities.
Lucifer learned some things about High Magic from Michael but ultimately they just don't have the right means in Thorne. Secret Basement Underground Native Cult is still what Lucifer thinks is there only option, because hiding a shrine somewhere in the castle is nigh impossible.] Having more people in Solvunn practice High Magic is more the necessity there. But better she bite off more she can chew than us if she's already got some connection.
[ Istredd says with no small amount of amusement. It is typical Lucifer to ruin all his bad moods. He isn't even allowed to linger long in anger at someone else, his significant other just slips in there being effortlessly distracting. Very annoying.
He puts up his hands so Lucifer can do the cat's cradle thing with him. He can multi-task with that and actually answering real questions now. ]
They've gone up in number I believe, just like us. More options.
[ There was a surge in newcomers. He wonders if the factions know more than they do right then. ]
I'm flagging that Jill woman mentioning killing gods. We really don't need new people attempting to fight the gods.
You multitask while Lucifer says unkind things about other people.] So what if she does? She'll just be swatted down like a bug. They'll just make an example of her and we'll be done with it.
[ Istredd is somewhat of a natural with Cat's Cradle. He's very good at doing regular static movement with his hands, being the endlessly reading, writing, and studying type. ]
Or they'll take it out on all of us and we'll be no closer to finding out more about their source.
[ He is very serious about finding out answers about the gods, and since he has no ability to do it himself, he has to put all his faith into Wanda and Himeka. He is annoyed at anyone jumping right to destruction, but they might not know any better.]
And they're new. They don't know what they're talking about.
[ It's his responsibility to look out for the new people and hopefully not let them get killed. ]
[There's a reason he plays this simple game. Just something rhythmic to focus on. Centering. There's other reasons, too, but. They're a different matter entirely.]
You know I don't think very highly of deities but I imagine the gods to have less of a mass temper-tantrum reaction as a certain queen does. Barely even notice a tiny human shouting incessantly at them and poking them with a toothpick. [He doesn't know what the new batch's abilities are but he doesn't imagine they have the capabilities to take on the pantheon.] You can't teach the ignorant. They have to learn in the fire.
[ Istredd hopes that some day he learns those reasons because obviously he knows it's a nervous tic of a sort for Lucifer. He started doing it with his hands when he was upset about Jack going missing, so it means something to him. But he knows when to press and when not to, and offering to do it together at least gives Lucifer a partner there too. ]
You say that until one of our people pays the price. I'm not risking anyone on ignorance.
[ 'Our people' being their real friends, not the newcomers. The kids, for example. Istredd may be too cautious, but he thinks after the heralds, they have good reason. ]
We don't know how powerful they are. They could be Wandas.
[ Yeah, Wanda's higher on his list of powerhouses than Lucifer himself. What of it. ]
[Look he has Wanda higher on the list than himself. But he also knows what she's capable of, what she's supposed to be capable of.]
Uggggh that's not fair, you can't use that against me.
[It's absolutely fair and not only that it's smart. Lucifer squashes Istredd's anger and overall narrow-minded not-thought-through ideas and Istredd squashes down (most of) Lucifer's going-to-blow-up-in-all-their-faces disasters.
He at least thinks about them now, anyway.
Thinking about them and taking them into complete consideration isn't always enough however. Someone's gotta make the shady deals, the dark deeds, the bad risks. That's still Lucifer. Because he thinks he can handle it, absorb the damage unto himself.
Perfectly healthy things.]
Fine, maybe she can kill a god. Good for her if she can. So fine. Fiiiine. [F I N E] Make sure she's smart about it or whatever.
[ Istredd is still feeling a little salty, although none of it is pointed at his beloved archangel. Just generalized frustration. At Nero, at these newcomers, at the experience he had to dredge up and how little they still know about things he feels they need. It isn't the best day for his overthinking, churning brain.
He likes the repetitive motion of the game though and Lucifer's constant contact with him is always helpful. They are good at filling each other's weaknesses. ]
There will be no god killing until we know for sure if they used to be Summoned. If we're inevitably going to end up the same, we have to get ahead of it.
[ Istredd wants to know how they were 'corrupted' if it was them, because he can think of all kinds of ways that could happen here. He isn't protecting gods, he's protecting them and their future. He wants to be here for the next few centuries, but not turn into the heralds. Perfectly reasonable thing to be concerned with. ]
Luckily they're in Thorne. They won't have access to the gods currently. I'll handle it. Eventually.
[ He's mentally weary already, closing his eyes to stop seeing the words, especially the conversations not pertinent to him now. ]
[Istredd's saltiness only makes Lucifer grin. Little spitfire, like Lucifer's going to discourage that.
He shifts position so he sprawls out, still atop Istredd, hands and string in close proximity, just pushing his legs out across the floor so that he can rock his ankles side to side.] Yeah alright I don't want to become God Tier in a decade and have some new Summoned try to ruin my day.
You have other people at your beck and call that can help 'handle it'. [Not Lucifer (technically). Lucifer is not (technically) at Istredd's beck and call.
He makes a face at the mention of the woman and says nothing. Let Istredd say whatever he wants to say, Lucifer isn't being sucked into a lead-in.]
[ Typically if he was with anyone else, Istredd would simply move them, but Lucifer is too strong to do that, and if he refuses to move there is nothing that Istredd can do about it. It would be like trying to push against a concrete wall. He's learned that first-hand. He hopes asking will get him the desired result, if partly because he too likes to drape over Lucifer. ]
I love your continued certainty that you can achieve god status in a decade. A little delusional, but ambitious. And I don't have people at my beck and call.
[ Okay maybe a little of his saltiness can be shared. Istredd can't do much from this position so he does push his hands with the string up toward his chest. A poke. ]
Going to that island is going to be difficult for some of us. You may have to hear things about it you don't want to. I'm warning you now.
But he will, with the Most Drawn Out Petulance, slant his back down to the floor and fully lift his legs so that Istredd can Do What He will since he is the most surly of the two of them at the moment and that should Be Acknowledged.]
I have ten years for you to prove me otherwise. Peanuts. I promise you I'll do most of my work in the latter half. [Because grace levels. And. Ugh. Magic.
But being 'delusional' is exceptionally on-brand for the devil, as Istredd will learn. (As Istredd likely already knows, but hasn't quite associated with the Devil.)
Just like, similarly, Istredd will recognize Lucifer Not Talking About the funguslady is for his benefit, not Lucifer's.] It's not about that. I didn't ask about things that I should have--and clearly I should have been more... in that scenario. You, whoever was involved, should have killed her. If not for necessity to what she had power for down the road, but for that silly little thing called mercy. [He huffs, a tone that is........... likely not helping.] But I already said that for your being the 'sane' one, you were anything but.
[ Ha, some success. Lucifer is usually sprawled on him in one way or another so he is used to the weight, he is simply feeling fidgety at the moment. Caged into his frustration and anger at Nero. Lucifer did the right thing to shake him out of it and he is grateful. He swaps places and settles on top of Lucifer, knees on either side of him so he can keep his weight off. Not that he is probably heavy to Lucifer, strong as he is.
Istredd leans down, pressing their hands to Lucifer's chest for a moment, so he can steal a kiss, but it is quick, sitting back up so they can continue the strings between them. He doesn't want to think about the latter half of the decade, if that means it is when Lucifer will start losing this part of himself. Maybe he would be a good candidate for a god then. He won't care the same way. ]
I was dying. [ He says, shrugging his shoulders as if that's not a big deal. Sanity wasn't the problem. ] My wound was infected, I lost a lot of blood. I could barely stand. I thought maybe they could save her.
[ They both know where that injury was, Istredd was tender there for quite some time, but Lucifer wasn't there when he came off the turtle. He avoided him on purpose, he didn't see the extent of the damage. Their connection was all static. Istredd probably would've died in another day. He knows that Lucifer gets upset about his borderline death wish in the Pit, but there is importance in the reality here too.]
She's an open-ended problem. Also the shrine monster. [ He shows Lucifer the creature. Not the details of what it did in the Pit, just what it looked like. ] If you want to mercy kill her you can.
You could barely save yourself, how do you think anyone could save her? [It's pointed, sharp, matter-of-fact. Featuring the normal, expected, tilt of the head and curiously flat expression.
What did you think was going to happen, Istredd?
Were you thinking, Istredd?
Were you even, really, present, Istredd?] I am going to be sure she's dead because she's a ritualistic battery-pack against you and everyone else's ['that he cares about' is unspoken, but obvious] trauma, not out of mercy. Her lingering presence means this could happen again, under the right circumstances.
[ Istredd stares him down, eyes narrowing. He knew Lucifer was going to get like this so it is still on him to press when it was unnecessary. ]
You don't know what she is. None of us do. We were speaking from experience, not knowledge.
[ They found her in the altar, they tried to talk to her, she couldn't leave alive. He took what he could out of her mind but it wasn't helpful. They could be wrong, especially given that Istredd just said he'd been dying. He had gone mad healing Steve too. Castiel had just gone through a crazy spiral that set loose the monster. No, none of them were sane. ]
We need to get permission for the island. Anything else comes later.
[ His brain is worn out. He doesn't want to argue, even if this was his own fault. ]
[He didn't want to go into it. He was going to let it fall to the wayside.
Istredd poked the bear.
And boy, would he keep pushing the matter if Istredd weren't so brain-weary, felt across their connection.
It's there... just on the edge, like a child with a magnifying glass over a bug with the sun. Just a little more of a push. Asking for it.
He doesn't.
There is. A lot, Of restraint involved. Instead, he just quits his string game and wraps his arms around Istredd and does not move aside from the occasional twitch at processing the scrawl of text.]
[ Istredd is weary and frustrated, still a little angry, but he's also sad underneath it all. There is the reality that repeating these memories was bringing back some of those feelings, and they have worked hard to get to a better place. He isn't going to be hiding in the room or skittish going anywhere, that aspect of it is truly done, but he is sad.
And he never really got to talk about it. The people who were there don't talk about it either. Collective denial. He expects Lucifer to be poked, that he struggles with his desires to push people. He is always good with Istredd. Gentle, in a way.
He leans down into Lucifer's space when he hugs him and lets him do that. He changes his position so he is more directly sprawling on him, and that makes it easier to embrace. Istredd buries his nose into Lucifer's neck, eyes closing, and pushes off the text for now. ]
Sorry. [ He murmurs into Lucifer's skin. That sorry could mean any number of things. ]
You need to stop apologizing when you're not actually sorry for anything. [Although in this case Istredd likely is sorry for something. But. Blanket apology? Not very helpful, to either of them.] I can't say anything for what was or wasn't done down there. [He wasn't there and it's why he chose to abstain his vote from the acolytes that aided in the escape.] But your mind's already a raw mental wound. [Reliving! Trauma!] I'm not peeling into that right now.
[Which. Is an open-ended offer, finally, to actually listen if Istredd needs to talk about the Pit.
[ He grumbles, petulant, not usually his reaction of choice but maybe Lucifer is rubbing off on him. Istredd doesn't know exactly what he's sorry about, but he does feel sorry about some nebulous things. Or maybe he's sorry in the way things happened to both of them that made them traumatized and he's sad for them. Feelings are complicated and rarely make full sense, something he has grumpily had to accept over time.
He turns his head and moves down just an inch so he can hear Lucifer's heart beat. Or his vessel's heart, but it still is reassuring. ]
It's like when you didn't tell me about what you did. [ Attacking Ambrose, killing someone during interrogation. ] Are we protecting each other or protecting ourselves?
Oh you can, can you? [It's a touch towards playful to push back against Istredd's petulance.
Given how often they sleep and Lucifer is aware of Istredd's pulse, he's not about to shake Istredd back.
He'd argue with how intertwined their minds are that protecting themselves they're protecting each other, but then he's still of the mind that he didn't tell Istredd not for himself.] Protecting the foundation. [That's more of the case, which is a bit of both of them. The pieces from both sides that keep their mental bridge connected and stabilized.]
I can. You have to indulge me because -- [ What he actually had to say at the end there he can't say, but he smoothly fills in. ] you're very fond of me.
[ It's not that he doubts Lucifer's alive, which is one reason why the steady beating will help, but it feels like his own heart steadies until they're on the same beat. Minds combined, hearts combined. Istredd's tired of being weak, having thought he pushed well past the trauma. He's not going to revert back to the bad times, but it's still frustrating. ]
I want to go to the island and see if we can get answers about the shrines, about the monster. The altar girl, if that's stil real. It's important. The monster talked to all of us mentally, it was persuasive and powerful, I want to know.
[ Maybe it is a god itself. He wouldn't shrug that off as a possibility. It was inside the shrines. It could be what it was. ]
But I also want to pull the island out of the crash at the bottom of the ocean just to burn it to pieces. Since we didn't get to kill the acolytes.
He reaches around Istredd's back, thumb knuckle pressing down his spine.]
Sooooo we go to the island, see the shrines and its potentially-present monster, figure out the fungus girl. [Pause.] And then burn everything to pieces.
[It might be the one thing he agrees with Nero about, though he doesn't know it.]
He likes when Lucifer presses into his back like that. The physical press of his hands is appreciated, especially in a situation where he can get lost in his mind. Lucifer's very good at keeping him grounded in one place.]
Most of where we were held is in the water now. It collapsed around us at the end. So not much of that to burn. The rest of the island, maybe.
[ Istredd cups Lucifer's face with both his hands, caressing his cheeks, a thumb against his lips gently, looking into his eyes. The eyes that are him. ]
If the shrine monster is a god, those of us who helped it could have an in to the divine. I want that.
[ Not to worship, as Lucifer knows. Istredd tried to find information on High Magic so he could attempt what Wanda and Himeka can do, but it was impossible. It's not surprising he still is looking for an angle for himself to get there. He never stops looking for angles. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ Writing down the experience with Wanda, sharing it. It wasn't his idea but he is going to support her and she needed his details. He never noted that it wasn't his choice to share Lorelai's location because that would be ratting her out, so he chose to take the brunt of that accusation instead. He assumes Wanda will talk to Nero separately, she is unlikely to let that fly. Just ... less public than their catty conversation. ]
The public conversation, whenever we get that set up, will also be that.
[ They were talking about next month for that, time for them to get all their info in order and prepare things for people. If it is still in the library, and that seems to be a good idea so he can show off the chalkboards of information, he will need that prep time. It's true that he chose this though. He could have continued to be quiet and isolated and left everything to others. Istredd misses those days. It was simpler.
He deflates underneath Lucifer, anger bleeding away because it rarely ever stays.]
Get off me, I'm not going to fight with him anymore.
[ He is going to go and reply to other things though. He rubs at his eyes. ]
I'm tired. That took a lot out of both of us.
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[ Istredd rolls his eyes and then focuses instead on reading the other comments that weren't him and Nero making asses of themselves in public. ]
Himeka being willing to talk to that god again is promising. I believe she's aware of the theory about the original Summoned. Having more people in Solvunn learn High Magic would be great.
[ Yes, he wanted to learn it himself, he desperately wanted to, but sometimes you can't get what you want. This will have to do. ]
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Lucifer learned some things about High Magic from Michael but ultimately they just don't have the right means in Thorne. Secret
BasementUnderground Native Cult is still what Lucifer thinks is there only option, because hiding a shrine somewhere in the castle is nigh impossible.] Having more people in Solvunn practice High Magic is more the necessity there. But better she bite off more she can chew than us if she's already got some connection.no subject
[ Istredd says with no small amount of amusement. It is typical Lucifer to ruin all his bad moods. He isn't even allowed to linger long in anger at someone else, his significant other just slips in there being effortlessly distracting. Very annoying.
He puts up his hands so Lucifer can do the cat's cradle thing with him. He can multi-task with that and actually answering real questions now. ]
They've gone up in number I believe, just like us. More options.
[ There was a surge in newcomers. He wonders if the factions know more than they do right then. ]
I'm flagging that Jill woman mentioning killing gods. We really don't need new people attempting to fight the gods.
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You multitask while Lucifer says unkind things about other people.] So what if she does? She'll just be swatted down like a bug. They'll just make an example of her and we'll be done with it.
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Or they'll take it out on all of us and we'll be no closer to finding out more about their source.
[ He is very serious about finding out answers about the gods, and since he has no ability to do it himself, he has to put all his faith into Wanda and Himeka. He is annoyed at anyone jumping right to destruction, but they might not know any better.]
And they're new. They don't know what they're talking about.
[ It's his responsibility to look out for the new people and hopefully not let them get killed. ]
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You know I don't think very highly of deities but I imagine the gods to have less of a mass temper-tantrum reaction as a certain queen does. Barely even notice a tiny human shouting incessantly at them and poking them with a toothpick. [He doesn't know what the new batch's abilities are but he doesn't imagine they have the capabilities to take on the pantheon.] You can't teach the ignorant. They have to learn in the fire.
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You say that until one of our people pays the price. I'm not risking anyone on ignorance.
[ 'Our people' being their real friends, not the newcomers. The kids, for example. Istredd may be too cautious, but he thinks after the heralds, they have good reason. ]
We don't know how powerful they are. They could be Wandas.
[ Yeah, Wanda's higher on his list of powerhouses than Lucifer himself. What of it. ]
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Uggggh that's not fair, you can't use that against me.
[It's absolutely fair and not only that it's smart. Lucifer squashes Istredd's anger and overall narrow-minded not-thought-through ideas and Istredd squashes down (most of) Lucifer's going-to-blow-up-in-all-their-faces disasters.
He at least thinks about them now, anyway.
Thinking about them and taking them into complete consideration isn't always enough however. Someone's gotta make the shady deals, the dark deeds, the bad risks. That's still Lucifer. Because he thinks he can handle it, absorb the damage unto himself.
Perfectly healthy things.]
Fine, maybe she can kill a god. Good for her if she can. So fine. Fiiiine. [F I N E] Make sure she's smart about it or whatever.
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[ Istredd is still feeling a little salty, although none of it is pointed at his beloved archangel. Just generalized frustration. At Nero, at these newcomers, at the experience he had to dredge up and how little they still know about things he feels they need. It isn't the best day for his overthinking, churning brain.
He likes the repetitive motion of the game though and Lucifer's constant contact with him is always helpful. They are good at filling each other's weaknesses. ]
There will be no god killing until we know for sure if they used to be Summoned. If we're inevitably going to end up the same, we have to get ahead of it.
[ Istredd wants to know how they were 'corrupted' if it was them, because he can think of all kinds of ways that could happen here. He isn't protecting gods, he's protecting them and their future. He wants to be here for the next few centuries, but not turn into the heralds. Perfectly reasonable thing to be concerned with. ]
Luckily they're in Thorne. They won't have access to the gods currently. I'll handle it. Eventually.
[ He's mentally weary already, closing his eyes to stop seeing the words, especially the conversations not pertinent to him now. ]
About the woman in the altar ....
[ Since Lucifer didn't like that. ]
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He shifts position so he sprawls out, still atop Istredd, hands and string in close proximity, just pushing his legs out across the floor so that he can rock his ankles side to side.] Yeah alright I don't want to become God Tier in a decade and have some new Summoned try to ruin my day.
You have other people at your beck and call that can help 'handle it'. [Not Lucifer (technically). Lucifer is not (technically) at Istredd's beck and call.
He makes a face at the mention of the woman and says nothing. Let Istredd say whatever he wants to say, Lucifer isn't being sucked into a lead-in.]
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[ Typically if he was with anyone else, Istredd would simply move them, but Lucifer is too strong to do that, and if he refuses to move there is nothing that Istredd can do about it. It would be like trying to push against a concrete wall. He's learned that first-hand. He hopes asking will get him the desired result, if partly because he too likes to drape over Lucifer. ]
I love your continued certainty that you can achieve god status in a decade. A little delusional, but ambitious. And I don't have people at my beck and call.
[ Okay maybe a little of his saltiness can be shared. Istredd can't do much from this position so he does push his hands with the string up toward his chest. A poke. ]
Going to that island is going to be difficult for some of us. You may have to hear things about it you don't want to. I'm warning you now.
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[He's all bird bones, surely. Feather light.
(That is not how vessels work in the slightest).
But he will, with the Most Drawn Out Petulance, slant his back down to the floor and fully lift his legs so that Istredd can Do What He will since he is the most surly of the two of them at the moment and that should Be Acknowledged.]
I have ten years for you to prove me otherwise. Peanuts. I promise you I'll do most of my work in the latter half. [Because grace levels. And. Ugh. Magic.
But being 'delusional' is exceptionally on-brand for the devil, as Istredd will learn. (As Istredd likely already knows, but hasn't quite associated with the Devil.)
Just like, similarly, Istredd will recognize Lucifer Not Talking About the funguslady is for his benefit, not Lucifer's.] It's not about that. I didn't ask about things that I should have--and clearly I should have been more... in that scenario. You, whoever was involved, should have killed her. If not for necessity to what she had power for down the road, but for that silly little thing called mercy. [He huffs, a tone that is........... likely not helping.] But I already said that for your being the 'sane' one, you were anything but.
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Istredd leans down, pressing their hands to Lucifer's chest for a moment, so he can steal a kiss, but it is quick, sitting back up so they can continue the strings between them. He doesn't want to think about the latter half of the decade, if that means it is when Lucifer will start losing this part of himself. Maybe he would be a good candidate for a god then. He won't care the same way. ]
I was dying. [ He says, shrugging his shoulders as if that's not a big deal. Sanity wasn't the problem. ] My wound was infected, I lost a lot of blood. I could barely stand. I thought maybe they could save her.
[ They both know where that injury was, Istredd was tender there for quite some time, but Lucifer wasn't there when he came off the turtle. He avoided him on purpose, he didn't see the extent of the damage. Their connection was all static. Istredd probably would've died in another day. He knows that Lucifer gets upset about his borderline death wish in the Pit, but there is importance in the reality here too.]
She's an open-ended problem. Also the shrine monster. [ He shows Lucifer the creature. Not the details of what it did in the Pit, just what it looked like. ] If you want to mercy kill her you can.
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What did you think was going to happen, Istredd?
Were you thinking, Istredd?
Were you even, really, present, Istredd?] I am going to be sure she's dead because she's a ritualistic battery-pack against you and everyone else's ['that he cares about' is unspoken, but obvious] trauma, not out of mercy. Her lingering presence means this could happen again, under the right circumstances.
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You don't know what she is. None of us do. We were speaking from experience, not knowledge.
[ They found her in the altar, they tried to talk to her, she couldn't leave alive. He took what he could out of her mind but it wasn't helpful. They could be wrong, especially given that Istredd just said he'd been dying. He had gone mad healing Steve too. Castiel had just gone through a crazy spiral that set loose the monster. No, none of them were sane. ]
We need to get permission for the island. Anything else comes later.
[ His brain is worn out. He doesn't want to argue, even if this was his own fault. ]
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Istredd poked the bear.
And boy, would he keep pushing the matter if Istredd weren't so brain-weary, felt across their connection.
It's there... just on the edge, like a child with a magnifying glass over a bug with the sun. Just a little more of a push. Asking for it.
He doesn't.
There is. A lot, Of restraint involved. Instead, he just quits his string game and wraps his arms around Istredd and does not move aside from the occasional twitch at processing the scrawl of text.]
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And he never really got to talk about it. The people who were there don't talk about it either. Collective denial. He expects Lucifer to be poked, that he struggles with his desires to push people. He is always good with Istredd. Gentle, in a way.
He leans down into Lucifer's space when he hugs him and lets him do that. He changes his position so he is more directly sprawling on him, and that makes it easier to embrace. Istredd buries his nose into Lucifer's neck, eyes closing, and pushes off the text for now. ]
Sorry. [ He murmurs into Lucifer's skin. That sorry could mean any number of things. ]
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[Which. Is an open-ended offer, finally, to actually listen if Istredd needs to talk about the Pit.
At some other point.]
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[ He grumbles, petulant, not usually his reaction of choice but maybe Lucifer is rubbing off on him. Istredd doesn't know exactly what he's sorry about, but he does feel sorry about some nebulous things. Or maybe he's sorry in the way things happened to both of them that made them traumatized and he's sad for them. Feelings are complicated and rarely make full sense, something he has grumpily had to accept over time.
He turns his head and moves down just an inch so he can hear Lucifer's heart beat. Or his vessel's heart, but it still is reassuring. ]
It's like when you didn't tell me about what you did. [ Attacking Ambrose, killing someone during interrogation. ] Are we protecting each other or protecting ourselves?
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Given how often they sleep and Lucifer is aware of Istredd's pulse, he's not about to shake Istredd back.
He'd argue with how intertwined their minds are that protecting themselves they're protecting each other, but then he's still of the mind that he didn't tell Istredd not for himself.] Protecting the foundation. [That's more of the case, which is a bit of both of them. The pieces from both sides that keep their mental bridge connected and stabilized.]
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[ It's not that he doubts Lucifer's alive, which is one reason why the steady beating will help, but it feels like his own heart steadies until they're on the same beat. Minds combined, hearts combined. Istredd's tired of being weak, having thought he pushed well past the trauma. He's not going to revert back to the bad times, but it's still frustrating. ]
I want to go to the island and see if we can get answers about the shrines, about the monster. The altar girl, if that's stil real. It's important. The monster talked to all of us mentally, it was persuasive and powerful, I want to know.
[ Maybe it is a god itself. He wouldn't shrug that off as a possibility. It was inside the shrines. It could be what it was. ]
But I also want to pull the island out of the crash at the bottom of the ocean just to burn it to pieces. Since we didn't get to kill the acolytes.
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Nice catch there, Istredd.He reaches around Istredd's back, thumb knuckle pressing down his spine.]
Sooooo we go to the island, see the shrines and its potentially-present monster, figure out the fungus girl. [Pause.] And then burn everything to pieces.
[It might be the one thing he agrees with Nero about, though he doesn't know it.]
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Very nice catch.He likes when Lucifer presses into his back like that. The physical press of his hands is appreciated, especially in a situation where he can get lost in his mind. Lucifer's very good at keeping him grounded in one place.]
Most of where we were held is in the water now. It collapsed around us at the end. So not much of that to burn. The rest of the island, maybe.
[ Istredd cups Lucifer's face with both his hands, caressing his cheeks, a thumb against his lips gently, looking into his eyes. The eyes that are him. ]
If the shrine monster is a god, those of us who helped it could have an in to the divine. I want that.
[ Not to worship, as Lucifer knows. Istredd tried to find information on High Magic so he could attempt what Wanda and Himeka can do, but it was impossible. It's not surprising he still is looking for an angle for himself to get there. He never stops looking for angles. ]
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we can probs wrap on this one!