[ Istredd has literally walked in the door thirty seconds before Cassian because he was concerned by his tone, written or otherwise. His room is one of the safest spaces in the entire castle to speak. The amount of wards and shields upon it would take Thorne mages quite some time to unravel before being able to eavesdrop. ]
It's fine, I was helping them reshelf.
[ An ordinary task but sometimes he likes to do it to clear his mind. The most recent events with the gods have thrown him off his game. Still, he focuses on Cassian. ]
[ They all have their own mindless tasks that help with clearing the mind. Cassian's is working on something. A project, anything to help keep his mind focused on something that isn't whatever plagues him.
Even if he were nervous, which he tells himself he isn't, this still requires his full attention as he turns to face Istredd, arms folded across his chest He hadn't been sure where to start when he did arrive at this point, but he starts with an explanation even though he feels like it doesn't require one. ]
The coup shook River. And after that I told her that if there was a way to leave, I would go with her.
[ Because as much as he's wanted to leave from the moment he had been pulled spluttering and coughing into this world, that selfish desire had changed. This was no longer just about him. ]
We're going to leave for Nott when we see an opportunity. Neither of us know when but I wanted to tell you so you don't think we've gone missing for no reason.
[ Istredd had a conversation with Geralt about River. He said he wanted to find a way to help her escape this place, although the how was still a question mark. He knows that there were two Summoned who managed to leave Thorne and go to Free Cities a long time ago, but in this heightened situation, it's hard to know how possible that is. Going to Nott though is a different thing.
It hurts, of course it hurts, not because he feels abandoned or upset or anything, but because he cares for them and the distance isn't easy. He and Yennefer have worked around it but his presence in Nott does not help her. They've met up in the Horizon and in Nocwich rather than there, and if Cassian and River are to be safe, he has to do the same thing for them. ]
There's no way of knowing if they'll follow you or not.
[ They didn't follow Yennefer, Thancred, and Stephen, which they could have, but there is no telling if they would take this more personally. At a point, Thorne will step in if they think their Summoned are making them look weak by running. ]
But perhaps the two of you are not well known enough to matter to him ....
[ Istredd doesn't feel confident about that. And what if they do go and drag the two of them back? Put them in the dungeon? It's a concern for certain. Sidwell's made an example of him already. He sighs and rubs a hand across his bearded chin. ]
I spoke to Geralt about finding a way to get River to leave Thorne, but I don't know how yet.
[ And if he can do it for two people (technically three, with John), that he definitely doesn't know. ]
[ The risks and dangers involved aren't unknown to him. Even if other Summoned hadn't escaped before them, Cassian is well versed in what could happen after someone of relative importance leaves. Not that he counts himself important. It isn't lack of self-confidence that has him dismissive of his own status here, rather it is a pragmatism. Save for activities that felt unavoidable at the time, he's purposefully kept a low profile within the castle for something like this. And it doesn't hurt that his magical powers if he could even call them that were latent and unremarkable as well.
River on the other hand - Cassian didn't know enough about magic but he knows enough to understand how powerful she could be. And this place has proven that they have no problem making use of those that could be deemed useful in their war.
Istredd mentioning that he'd spoken to Geralt - someone he'd met briefly bonding over a troublesome cat and a drink with - makes him bristle some. Of course he trusts Istredd and his judgement of those that he trusts. But that doesn't mean that he trusts someone he barely knows. ]
We don't know how long that will take for you two to find a way for that to happen. This is the only option we have right now and the least risky.
[ The last thing he wants is to have them end up getting guards sent back to them and River being dragged back. He'd step in to stop it if he could and probably just end up getting everyone in more danger. Istredd doubts that Sidwell wants that kind of attention right then. With Solvunn and the Free Cities now allies, causing turmoil within the Summoned in Thorne is a bad idea. Still, he worries, of course he worries. It would be traumatizing for her to go through that. ]
There is illicit teleporting to the Free Cities but it's costly and from what I hear, she wouldn't be any happier there. I don't know if there is a way to Solvunn, which would be safest.
[ If Istredd could hand her off to Wanda, he would in a heartbeat, he would trust his friend could handle anything River needs. He doesn't know if both Cassian and River could go, there are a lot of moving parts here as possibilities. The fact is, this is the best first step to take. Going to Nott and Yennefer will at least be better than staying in the castle, waiting for the worst to happen.
He sighs and reaches out to put a hand on Cassian's shoulder. This does ache, in a way he can't really soothe. His family will be out of his direct reach, but he also told Geralt that he wanted to get all of Thorne free eventually. They may as well do it a few at a time until a full move can be done. ]
[ That too would be the worse case scenario in Cassian's mind. Sidwell had already shown he had few qualms in exerting force if it meant order. The former queen may have been moved by her emotions and volatile as a result, but controlled power and restraint were probably more dangerous in Cassian's eyes. All the more reason to get River out of Thorne as soon as they were able; Nott at least was an acceptable alternative.
And more importantly, it wouldn't put too much distance between themselves and the other Summoned they were leaving behind. ]
If there's illegal teleportation to the Free Cities there could be something to Solvunn.
[ But whatever the means, whatever the cost whether it was gold or something else, Cassian knew he'd pay it.
The tension he had been holding in his shoulders loosens for just a moment at Istredd's touch and his words. ]
I'm not going far. I'd tell you to come with us but I know you turned down others who asked you to do the same.
Ask Yennefer to look into it. She may already have in case she, Stephen, and Thancred need to flee.
[ The problem is the price. None of them currently have it. Istredd has enough for one, although he won't for much longer, as he's helping John out of the territory with it. Though he wonders if he can ask for Geralt and Jaskier to provide more on that front, it's just that if enough people start to go, Thorne will no doubt lock down the Summoned in the castle. Nott will have to do for now. ]
I may know someone who can help with the gold. Just not right away.
[ Istredd will move everything he needs to for River and Cassian. They are his family more than anyone of his blood would be. His family has always been the Brotherhood but it was an unhappy relationship, most of the young mages always knew they were only fodder for their teachers to be used. With River and Cassian in that vision, he felt what real familial love could be like, and it hasn't left him. It's why this is painful for him even if it's the right thing.
He shakes his head. River asked him for the same, but his answer can't change. ]
I'm responsible for people here, I have to stay. I do plan on all of us escaping eventually, it's just not feasible yet.
[ Istredd does not plan on staying in Thorne forever. He will leave as soon as it seems like it's the only option, and when it's safe for others to go too. He isn't going to be like Yennefer and stay behind if they are given teleports out again like years ago. He'll run with the others if that happens again, but he doubts they'll get so lucky. ]
I just want you to be safe, Cassa.[ Unconsciously using his vision nickname. ] I'm not worried about you in Nott, but keep an eye on River, it does have crime there, more than here.
[ This scene feels all too familiar to him and for a moment Cassian feels his resolve waver. But as soon as he feels that foundation quake, he steels himself. The circumstances are different. When he ran away after the job on Aldhani, it had been done so selfishly in spite of all his good intent. No part of him had wanted to leave anyone behind for what would have been the umpteenth time. At the time he had told himself that it was all old habits dying hard. That while everyone - Maarva, Bix, Brasso and countless others would inevitably be disappointed with him in some way, would write it off as nothing more than Cassian needing to lay low again. At the time he'd told himself that that was fine. That he'd return in time once the heat died down. Except it hadn't and things had escalated far quicker than he could comprehend.
But this time will be different, he tells himself. This time he isn't leaving for good. Nor is he leaving on his own for his own selfish reasons. No one would die. They're all working together to get the Summoned out collectively and this was just one small step towards that. But before he can fully steady himself he hears his childhood name. Inadvertently he flinches. ]
It's Cassian. Not Kassa.
[ The weary reminder isn't meant to be a chiding one or even scathing. He just can't bear to hear it in this moment when this parallels all the scenarios in which he's left someone behind before. That same weariness seems to persist at the reminder and the moment passes. ]
You say that like I'll just abandon her when we get there. I'm sure Yennefer and the others won't let her too far out of their sights either.
[ It feels like putting a wall between them, regardless of whether that's the case. Or really Istredd's just feeling tense at the moment and emotional. He also left people in the lurch once. It was for a good reason and one he had to do, but all it did was end up hurting himself and others. He's not the one who stays, usually. He's the one who goes, who had a path far away from other people. This life has been such a different one for him. Amazing how two years can supersede nine decades. ]
That's not what I said.
[ Istredd trusts Cassian with River without question. That's why he wants this for both of them. The farther away from the throne the better right then. He feels the misery come over him like a shadow and rubs a hand through his hair, looking down at the floor. This means all of his family will be away from him, and with Kell recently gone, it feels like an extra cut to the heart. But it's an active choice.
[ It isn't an intentional wall; they're both out of sorts and not themselves. The last several weeks have been harrowing and when his walls have been forcibly torn down it's only natural that his instincts tell him to pull them back up. But they aren't fully impenetrable. A prickling sense of guilt manages to worm its way through the cracks as he watches Istredd drag a hand through his hair and cast his gaze down towards the ground.
Remorse begins to trickle its way into his body language and he rubs a hand across his face. ]
I know. I'm sorry.
[ There had been an attempt at trying to bring some levity to the situation. Clearly that had fallen flat. When his hand falls away from his face he looks up, an apology in his expression. ]
I'll be in touch once we get there and once we settle River in. We'll probably have to stay out of sight for a little while in case they try and find us but Nott isn't that far. [ Cassian's gaze steadies on Istredd's. ] We aren't going where you can't reach us.
[ Istredd used to be a lot more of a closed-off person and unfortunately being here has made him more of an open book. It's the risk of caring about people and letting that become a defining part of your life. He's sensitive now. He knows ultimately the best thing for the people he loves is to save them. There is no greater gesture than to help them escape this place that he's chosen to be locked to.
That isn't to say the other locations are so much magically better, but until they have better options, he's doing his best. What he wouldn't give to have the Nether open to them, he would trust sending River and Cassian there far more than Solvunn or the Free Cities. For now, Nott will have to suffice. ]
I know. I won't come for some time in case they're following me. We can meet up in Nocwich and the Horizon until then.
[ Istredd visited Nott for the first time to see Yennefer recently but it was quiet and they've been using the other options just to be safe. Probably more paranoid than necessary, but better safe than sorry. ]
Thank you for telling me. Be careful. Know that I'm always here for you.
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no subject
Date: 2024-09-09 02:35 am (UTC)It's fine, I was helping them reshelf.
[ An ordinary task but sometimes he likes to do it to clear his mind. The most recent events with the gods have thrown him off his game. Still, he focuses on Cassian. ]
What's wrong?
no subject
Date: 2024-09-12 05:48 am (UTC)Even if he were nervous, which he tells himself he isn't, this still requires his full attention as he turns to face Istredd, arms folded across his chest He hadn't been sure where to start when he did arrive at this point, but he starts with an explanation even though he feels like it doesn't require one. ]
The coup shook River. And after that I told her that if there was a way to leave, I would go with her.
[ Because as much as he's wanted to leave from the moment he had been pulled spluttering and coughing into this world, that selfish desire had changed. This was no longer just about him. ]
We're going to leave for Nott when we see an opportunity. Neither of us know when but I wanted to tell you so you don't think we've gone missing for no reason.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-15 10:32 pm (UTC)It hurts, of course it hurts, not because he feels abandoned or upset or anything, but because he cares for them and the distance isn't easy. He and Yennefer have worked around it but his presence in Nott does not help her. They've met up in the Horizon and in Nocwich rather than there, and if Cassian and River are to be safe, he has to do the same thing for them. ]
There's no way of knowing if they'll follow you or not.
[ They didn't follow Yennefer, Thancred, and Stephen, which they could have, but there is no telling if they would take this more personally. At a point, Thorne will step in if they think their Summoned are making them look weak by running. ]
But perhaps the two of you are not well known enough to matter to him ....
[ Istredd doesn't feel confident about that. And what if they do go and drag the two of them back? Put them in the dungeon? It's a concern for certain. Sidwell's made an example of him already. He sighs and rubs a hand across his bearded chin. ]
I spoke to Geralt about finding a way to get River to leave Thorne, but I don't know how yet.
[ And if he can do it for two people (technically three, with John), that he definitely doesn't know. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-09-24 04:18 am (UTC)[ The risks and dangers involved aren't unknown to him. Even if other Summoned hadn't escaped before them, Cassian is well versed in what could happen after someone of relative importance leaves. Not that he counts himself important. It isn't lack of self-confidence that has him dismissive of his own status here, rather it is a pragmatism. Save for activities that felt unavoidable at the time, he's purposefully kept a low profile within the castle for something like this. And it doesn't hurt that his magical powers if he could even call them that were latent and unremarkable as well.
River on the other hand - Cassian didn't know enough about magic but he knows enough to understand how powerful she could be. And this place has proven that they have no problem making use of those that could be deemed useful in their war.
Istredd mentioning that he'd spoken to Geralt - someone he'd met briefly bonding over a troublesome cat and a drink with - makes him bristle some. Of course he trusts Istredd and his judgement of those that he trusts. But that doesn't mean that he trusts someone he barely knows. ]
We don't know how long that will take for you two to find a way for that to happen. This is the only option we have right now and the least risky.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-27 12:21 am (UTC)There is illicit teleporting to the Free Cities but it's costly and from what I hear, she wouldn't be any happier there. I don't know if there is a way to Solvunn, which would be safest.
[ If Istredd could hand her off to Wanda, he would in a heartbeat, he would trust his friend could handle anything River needs. He doesn't know if both Cassian and River could go, there are a lot of moving parts here as possibilities. The fact is, this is the best first step to take. Going to Nott and Yennefer will at least be better than staying in the castle, waiting for the worst to happen.
He sighs and reaches out to put a hand on Cassian's shoulder. This does ache, in a way he can't really soothe. His family will be out of his direct reach, but he also told Geralt that he wanted to get all of Thorne free eventually. They may as well do it a few at a time until a full move can be done. ]
I will miss you, brother.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-29 03:44 am (UTC)And more importantly, it wouldn't put too much distance between themselves and the other Summoned they were leaving behind. ]
If there's illegal teleportation to the Free Cities there could be something to Solvunn.
[ But whatever the means, whatever the cost whether it was gold or something else, Cassian knew he'd pay it.
The tension he had been holding in his shoulders loosens for just a moment at Istredd's touch and his words. ]
I'm not going far. I'd tell you to come with us but I know you turned down others who asked you to do the same.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-07 08:30 pm (UTC)[ The problem is the price. None of them currently have it. Istredd has enough for one, although he won't for much longer, as he's helping John out of the territory with it. Though he wonders if he can ask for Geralt and Jaskier to provide more on that front, it's just that if enough people start to go, Thorne will no doubt lock down the Summoned in the castle. Nott will have to do for now. ]
I may know someone who can help with the gold. Just not right away.
[ Istredd will move everything he needs to for River and Cassian. They are his family more than anyone of his blood would be. His family has always been the Brotherhood but it was an unhappy relationship, most of the young mages always knew they were only fodder for their teachers to be used. With River and Cassian in that vision, he felt what real familial love could be like, and it hasn't left him. It's why this is painful for him even if it's the right thing.
He shakes his head. River asked him for the same, but his answer can't change. ]
I'm responsible for people here, I have to stay. I do plan on all of us escaping eventually, it's just not feasible yet.
[ Istredd does not plan on staying in Thorne forever. He will leave as soon as it seems like it's the only option, and when it's safe for others to go too. He isn't going to be like Yennefer and stay behind if they are given teleports out again like years ago. He'll run with the others if that happens again, but he doubts they'll get so lucky. ]
I just want you to be safe, Cassa.[ Unconsciously using his vision nickname. ] I'm not worried about you in Nott, but keep an eye on River, it does have crime there, more than here.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-08 06:03 am (UTC)But this time will be different, he tells himself. This time he isn't leaving for good. Nor is he leaving on his own for his own selfish reasons. No one would die. They're all working together to get the Summoned out collectively and this was just one small step towards that. But before he can fully steady himself he hears his childhood name. Inadvertently he flinches. ]
It's Cassian. Not Kassa.
[ The weary reminder isn't meant to be a chiding one or even scathing. He just can't bear to hear it in this moment when this parallels all the scenarios in which he's left someone behind before. That same weariness seems to persist at the reminder and the moment passes. ]
You say that like I'll just abandon her when we get there. I'm sure Yennefer and the others won't let her too far out of their sights either.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-10 10:40 pm (UTC)[ It feels like putting a wall between them, regardless of whether that's the case. Or really Istredd's just feeling tense at the moment and emotional. He also left people in the lurch once. It was for a good reason and one he had to do, but all it did was end up hurting himself and others. He's not the one who stays, usually. He's the one who goes, who had a path far away from other people. This life has been such a different one for him. Amazing how two years can supersede nine decades. ]
That's not what I said.
[ Istredd trusts Cassian with River without question. That's why he wants this for both of them. The farther away from the throne the better right then. He feels the misery come over him like a shadow and rubs a hand through his hair, looking down at the floor. This means all of his family will be away from him, and with Kell recently gone, it feels like an extra cut to the heart. But it's an active choice.
Lucifer above everyone else, always.
The cause on top of that, first. ]
I just worry.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-18 09:42 pm (UTC)Remorse begins to trickle its way into his body language and he rubs a hand across his face. ]
I know. I'm sorry.
[ There had been an attempt at trying to bring some levity to the situation. Clearly that had fallen flat. When his hand falls away from his face he looks up, an apology in his expression. ]
I'll be in touch once we get there and once we settle River in. We'll probably have to stay out of sight for a little while in case they try and find us but Nott isn't that far. [ Cassian's gaze steadies on Istredd's. ] We aren't going where you can't reach us.
Let's wrap on this but I LOVE THEM ALWAYS.
Date: 2024-10-20 05:27 pm (UTC)That isn't to say the other locations are so much magically better, but until they have better options, he's doing his best. What he wouldn't give to have the Nether open to them, he would trust sending River and Cassian there far more than Solvunn or the Free Cities. For now, Nott will have to suffice. ]
I know. I won't come for some time in case they're following me. We can meet up in Nocwich and the Horizon until then.
[ Istredd visited Nott for the first time to see Yennefer recently but it was quiet and they've been using the other options just to be safe. Probably more paranoid than necessary, but better safe than sorry. ]
Thank you for telling me. Be careful. Know that I'm always here for you.