thedevilwhorose: (Default)

[personal profile] thedevilwhorose 2023-06-05 03:38 pm (UTC)(link)
[He thumps into Istredd's side almost immediately, head on Istredd's shoulder, eyes closed, almost looking asleep though his hands are still going through the shapes of the string game. The contact is just as much for himself as it is Istredd, he thinks. Hopes?

He doesn't think Istredd entirely miscalculated. It should have been a good idea, and maybe had Istredd just left him in the space without speaking it could've worked on instinct, but Lucifer saw person and red and there was his outlet.]


It happens. It's allowed to happen.

[The dullness is gone and now he's just tired, even from the Horizon, likely more than would be normal. It was still a full expenditure of himself and so much of it was mental energy. In a way Istredd's method did work, Lucifer just took it and shredded it into something else.

If he knew the reason he was so upset this would be easier, maybe. But he really doesn't.]


I've been here a year now.

[Abraxas. Him and Wilhelm, around the same day. Jack had been maybe only a few months. He doesn't really remember. He just remembers seeing him in Nocwich during the recovery period. He's lost a couple acquaintances in shorter amounts of time but he didn't really think... time is often not an archangel problem. It isn't like he sat back and waited though, either. They were in contact. He reached out. It's just...

Ah.

His thoughts are scattered about. Like maybe if he throws a dart he'll find what his problem is, but he thinks it's just everything, tangled together.

But maybe he's landed on something.

His lack of control. Their lack of control. To keep anyone here, really.]


I wanted to tell you. [God, he really wanted to.] Only Wanda knew, and that was... circumstance. Before the kid was here. She was... rather displeased when I told her she couldn't tell anyone the truth. Might've been more upset than me about everything. [He doesn't know what Istredd knows about her kids.

He's gonna have to give her an 'update' at some point and he can imagine how that's going to go, her own gaping sadness.]
Edited 2023-06-05 15:45 (UTC)
thedevilwhorose: (the ballad of life)

[personal profile] thedevilwhorose 2023-06-05 05:24 pm (UTC)(link)
[Physical reassurance is growing as a good thing for Lucifer but he knows how much it helps ground Istredd. It's less an apology and more a thank you. He'd assumed Istredd would come to him eventually, assumed he likely wouldn't even have been upset with Lucifer. But still. Thank you, just the same. For continuing to roll with Lucifer's punches, or in this case a whizzing ball of holy fire.

He doesn't do anything alone, and that is a surprising realization. Even his treasonous ploys go through a handful of people. Committee. He values other's opinions because while in the past he'd do whatever he felt like on a whim, consequences be damned, he can't anymore.

Whatever happens to him affects the rest of them, one way or another. Whatever happens to any of them. Whatever they do.

And that matters now.]
Yeah? [A chuckle.] And how'd he take that?
thedevilwhorose: (because I'm too afraid)

[personal profile] thedevilwhorose 2023-06-06 01:59 am (UTC)(link)
He said I shouldn't be blamed for the actions I hadn't personally committed yet. [Which while what he'd prefer, is not something he is accustomed to. The Blame Game is strong when you're him, though he thinks it's lessened substantially here. He has enough of a footing. Enough of a structure of people around him that if someone tries to shake him he's less likely to overreact.

He sighs. An exhalation of being, pushed out. Bone-limp. The only movement is still his hands and fingers, held down between his knees, the thread constantly in motion.

Under the outside, over the second, pick up the third. Under, over, pick up. Under, over...]
I don't like acceptance. [Shocker. Accepting that Jack is gone, that he never really had a chance, that their control is so frail, that this was ultimately just a blip of a moment in time.]
thedevilwhorose: (holy child)

[personal profile] thedevilwhorose 2023-06-06 03:17 am (UTC)(link)
[He's silent for likely awhile. Long enough that the sun's starting its decent, the bleed of color over Thorne. Lucifer can feel it, and it's what gets him to open his eyes for the first time, watching from where he's still pressed into Istredd's side.

Abraxas doesn't have the same beauty as Earth but that's also 100% biased.

Eventually, meaningfully, doesn't need to be said but he says it anyway:]
Sorry I threw a ball of energy near your head. [Basically at his head. But. Semantics.]
thedevilwhorose: » hallucination (some call this living)

[personal profile] thedevilwhorose 2023-06-06 04:32 am (UTC)(link)
I wasn't trying to break us. [Considering he's tried it a lot, he can tell the difference. It might be better than the actual truth though.] I was just mad. And you were there. [Not entirely healthy and he'd like to think he wouldn't have tried similar outside of the Horizon, but the don't really know. He thinks he would've just flew off before he attacked Istredd on this plane, no matter how angry he was. Kyle and Istredd aren't the same.

It could've been anyone on the other end to provoke the same reaction. The difference is there's no certainty that anyone else wouldn't have just backed down and not come after him later, or ever again. He was, maybe, banking on that stubbornness of Istredd's.]
Technically your plan achieved the right results. [There is the barest lilt of humor to the words, tentative.] ... Just some off-kilter means to get there.
thedevilwhorose: » hallucination (call you carpet of stars)

[personal profile] thedevilwhorose 2023-06-06 09:13 pm (UTC)(link)
You are a good listener, if sometimes detrimentally so. [Because sometimes you just want to throttle someone instead of talk about things.

Or maybe that's just a Lucifer Problem.]
thedevilwhorose: » hallucination (where the wild things grow)

[personal profile] thedevilwhorose 2023-06-06 09:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Super annoying.

[He somehow manages to be both serious and not.

He does have them and it is part of the many reasons he didn't want to do anything with Jack. He'd already put in the hard labor for raising dealing with a teenager. One was waaaay bad enough for his sanity.]
Logistically? ... Scientifically? I guess grace.
thedevilwhorose: » hallucination (underneath the rain)

in the mental outtake of my mind: Lucifer just pushes Istredd off the wall: The End, credits roll

[personal profile] thedevilwhorose 2023-06-06 10:48 pm (UTC)(link)
It's true, few people could make annoyance their likeable trait. [He stops with his string game, winding the thread about his wrist, not tightly, for later.]

Oh they are definitely not full of grace. [He says it with an amused laugh, pointedly using the other meaning of grace. It's the first thing he's spoken aloud since Istredd found him up here, a testament of his exhaustion more than anything else.]
thedevilwhorose: » hallucination (a harder job to do)

[personal profile] thedevilwhorose 2023-06-07 12:52 am (UTC)(link)
[Lucifer bursts out laughing, crossing his further-away arm over himself to throw it around Istredd's front, snorting with the laughter against Istredd's shoulder as he turns his head into it.] Oh holy hell, you didn't know! Ha! I mean, sure, why would you really, but! [It's a rare occasion that Lucifer actually, for whatever reason, thought Istredd would've gotten the joke. Never even considered that he didn't.

He continues to chortle, pressing a lazy kiss where his head rests and lets the laughter feed through him for a little bit before answering.]
Yeah, you know. Yeah. That's a good idea.
thedevilwhorose: (quiet my tongue)

[personal profile] thedevilwhorose 2023-06-07 01:58 am (UTC)(link)
[Oh there will be plenty of times in the future that he'll openly laugh at Istredd.

Kindly?

Kindly.]


So I was certain I had, I've lost track of everything you know and don't know! [Considering that Istredd likely knows more than anyone about angels in general, not even just Lucifer. They need like. A diagram. A mental checklist. But then, Lucifer doesn't know what would go on it.

He's just being. Just is. He doesn't know how to break it down for another person.]
I bet you I could have explained in great [he pushes into Istredd's grip] excruciating detail and still not put a dent in the mood. [But hiding away under a mountain of blankets for a little while does sound appealing. He'll have to really deal with other aspects of this at some point. Talking to people, eugh. But it can wait.]
thedevilwhorose: » f ApocWorld (or lungs filled with smoke)

[personal profile] thedevilwhorose 2023-06-07 02:40 am (UTC)(link)
Cool, when you figure it out, lemme know. [Because he doesn't know what needs to be learned!!]

I don't need anything else, really. Just blankets. [The logic center of his brain wants him to say silence. To be left alone. Maybe just that innate familiarity, calling out for normalization.

He wants to be considered a logical being, but anyone that knows him knows what a load of crap that is. Since the Dawn of Creation he's been an emotional creature.

So the rest of the answer comes just as quick, no actual thought, no actual hesitation.]
Just you. [....... pause.] ... If you're quiet.
thedevilwhorose: » mental (look the same)

wrap here?

[personal profile] thedevilwhorose 2023-06-07 04:00 am (UTC)(link)
Uh huh. [It's not disbelief that Istredd will stay quiet as much as it's Lucifer not actually caring because he's going to be asleep one way or another. If he gets up at some weird hour of the night with a quiet murmur to make sure Istredd knows he's snagging food, so be it. Sleep is more important.

That is how they find themselves back in their room, Lucifer a useless lump covered in blankets (and Istredd), out like a light.

He'll show Istredd how to play Cat's Cradle some other time, when he actually works out the 'how' behind two players (because he's never had a partner) and when he's not hurting from whatever reasons the loss of Jack hit him with.]