The pain is worth it to him. If he hadn't let himself feel it, he would still have it in his gut, hanging over him forever. True mourning was the way through and he understands that. He knows that Lucifer doesn't understand it. One of those examples of when they are reminded they're not the same species and go about things differently. The important part was when Istredd told him no, gently, he listened and backed off.
Istredd is relieved when Lucifer confirms before the mountain, because that is what he wanted, obviously, but he had to give the option. He had to say they could change things for Lucifer's sake, it was the right thing to do. And he had to make it clear that they could, it wasn't too late for them to pull back.
It was his mistake but if they both accept it now, it means they can move on from the 'mistake' and put it to bed. It's a choice now even if it wasn't a choice then.
"I don't know," Istredd says after a moment. Now they're both in 'I don't know' mode. "The problem is we still need to have the option for that to happen if you start to lose your emotions, it was an agreement." They just didn't think it would have to happen this way. They had agreed on doing it, but it was always a future prospect, a for instance, not something they expected to really happen any time soon.
"We didn't know what the aftermath would be." How could they? He reaches out and gestures for Lucifer to come closer. He needs to sit them both down for this so he can focus. "What I'm thinking is if we cut back now, put up stronger walls, not walls that can't be broken if an emergency happens, but understand how it will feel and look, we may be able to pull them back rather than allow the bleed through to taint us for weeks after. I'll have an easier time rebuilding them."
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Date: 2023-10-11 01:08 pm (UTC)Istredd is relieved when Lucifer confirms before the mountain, because that is what he wanted, obviously, but he had to give the option. He had to say they could change things for Lucifer's sake, it was the right thing to do. And he had to make it clear that they could, it wasn't too late for them to pull back.
It was his mistake but if they both accept it now, it means they can move on from the 'mistake' and put it to bed. It's a choice now even if it wasn't a choice then.
"I don't know," Istredd says after a moment. Now they're both in 'I don't know' mode. "The problem is we still need to have the option for that to happen if you start to lose your emotions, it was an agreement." They just didn't think it would have to happen this way. They had agreed on doing it, but it was always a future prospect, a for instance, not something they expected to really happen any time soon.
"We didn't know what the aftermath would be." How could they? He reaches out and gestures for Lucifer to come closer. He needs to sit them both down for this so he can focus. "What I'm thinking is if we cut back now, put up stronger walls, not walls that can't be broken if an emergency happens, but understand how it will feel and look, we may be able to pull them back rather than allow the bleed through to taint us for weeks after. I'll have an easier time rebuilding them."