"I've never been very good at looking forward." He's a historian, his job is literally to be stuck in the past. Looking for answers to things that were long dead and buried, and knowing he may never get them. Istredd didn't have much he considered worth looking forward to. A long life that he saw as more books and historical digs and avoiding all the things in his continent he didn't want to engage with.
But it changed there. The Book of Monoliths made him invested, and then it all fell apart. And here? Istredd's been intensely engaged with Abraxas, the opposite of his aloof indifference to his own sphere. He knows that he wants to stay here for his future, he's said as much. Here with Lucifer, here with the others. But what that looks like in a hundred or five hundred years, he hasn't thought ahead to it.
"You know I can't help it. I'll have to plan for those eventualities, as best as possible." It's the Pit all over again, obsessively putting everyone's problems on himself, but it's better in that he's not actively dying. They have time. The new gods didn't go from Summoned to that overnight. They all are on paths. But Lucifer said 'We can save us' and that means it doesn't have to be him alone. Not just with Lucifer, but in general. It's all of them who has to have a buy in.
Istredd kisses him firmly, reminding himself how close they keep getting to losing everything, but they haven't yet. "It won't be us." Having to be put down. He's determined. "If it's me, I give you full permission. But don't offer me the same because I wouldn't be able to." He's honest about his weakness.
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Date: 2024-03-14 01:07 am (UTC)But it changed there. The Book of Monoliths made him invested, and then it all fell apart. And here? Istredd's been intensely engaged with Abraxas, the opposite of his aloof indifference to his own sphere. He knows that he wants to stay here for his future, he's said as much. Here with Lucifer, here with the others. But what that looks like in a hundred or five hundred years, he hasn't thought ahead to it.
"You know I can't help it. I'll have to plan for those eventualities, as best as possible." It's the Pit all over again, obsessively putting everyone's problems on himself, but it's better in that he's not actively dying. They have time. The new gods didn't go from Summoned to that overnight. They all are on paths. But Lucifer said 'We can save us' and that means it doesn't have to be him alone. Not just with Lucifer, but in general. It's all of them who has to have a buy in.
Istredd kisses him firmly, reminding himself how close they keep getting to losing everything, but they haven't yet. "It won't be us." Having to be put down. He's determined. "If it's me, I give you full permission. But don't offer me the same because I wouldn't be able to." He's honest about his weakness.