"I mean before I understood you." Uphill until he could really get what was going on with Lucifer, crack himself into his mind and spill out some of his secrets. Now Istredd's managed that, but he knows that Lucifer wouldn't like to be past tense a battle. It's in his nature to be difficult.

"You will always be a challenge, Lucifer. I wouldn't want you any other way." The absolute truth. Istredd's in love with him because of it. He likes that he's difficult. That's why he thinks it's oddly natural.

He worries about new people all of the time too. Every time they seem like they have balanced the Thorne Summoned well, a new group comes in, with all the threats and concerns that brings. But he felt that way in the start too, and now they all have one another. He's willing to be patient with others. To a point.

It's easier with Lucifer. Having that solid ground to fall back on, always.

"It's not like I'm easy." Laughable! Istredd only appears to be that way. A different kind of difficult.